Friday, August 31, 2012
God Hates Orgasms.
(6)
That 'lubrication effect' of the foreskin is also what makes male masturbation so obvious and easy and appealing to young boys, of course. Abraham hated it. Why? Nobody knows. In any case he became a circumfetishist. He chopped off his own foreskin and his sons' foreskins, claiming that God would consider that sacrifice sufficient for a racial agreement (or covenant) obligating God to befriend the Jews ad infinitum.
Muslims, after reading both the Old (faint boom) and New Testaments, and formulating (tap) their own plagaristic version of those ancient texts, also recommended circumcision, possibly based on the Jewish belief of eternal friendship with God. Whatever.
That 'lubrication effect' of the foreskin is also what makes male masturbation so obvious and easy and appealing to young boys, of course. Abraham hated it. Why? Nobody knows. In any case he became a circumfetishist. He chopped off his own foreskin and his sons' foreskins, claiming that God would consider that sacrifice sufficient for a racial agreement (or covenant) obligating God to befriend the Jews ad infinitum.
Muslims, after reading both the Old (faint boom) and New Testaments, and formulating (tap) their own plagaristic version of those ancient texts, also recommended circumcision, possibly based on the Jewish belief of eternal friendship with God. Whatever.
The Tribal Jewish Fed.
(5)
Information is the destination.
(Listening to CNN just now I was struck by the idea that 'the fed' was fucking up somehow. I disagree. We need a Fed which is above political influence. Hooray for The Fed even if it is Jewish! Yas.)
And when this current economic catastrophe has been resolved, then and only then do we need to seriously investigate 'The Fed.' The last thing we want is a Tribal Jewish Fed.
Really.
Slurp. Nighty-night!
Information is the destination.
(Listening to CNN just now I was struck by the idea that 'the fed' was fucking up somehow. I disagree. We need a Fed which is above political influence. Hooray for The Fed even if it is Jewish! Yas.)
And when this current economic catastrophe has been resolved, then and only then do we need to seriously investigate 'The Fed.' The last thing we want is a Tribal Jewish Fed.
Really.
Slurp. Nighty-night!
Oh Canada!
(4)
Well into beer #8. Damn this is fun! Now what...? Ancient Horseshit! Yas! Sip.
With two beers left I have decided to do a double shot of Canadian Mist! Oh Canada! (I mixed up a double shot of CM and Diet Pepsi and am 'recovering' from a vicious attack of MR which resulted in much sneezing and mucus flowing. Snuff. Sip. Whoever is zapping me is not particularly 'Canadaphilic.'
I forgot what it was that I was about to expound about. Sip. End of CM. Yum!
Buzzing furiously at 1757. Cough.
Back from the fridge with beer #9 at 2000. Buzzing gloriously. Now what?
Aha! Reliable Information! Yes!
----------
There are two types of 'information:' Ancient Information (1) and Modern Information (2). Obviously, Modern Information always trumps Ancient Information. This very obvious fact nullifies all of Ancient Information! But here is the problem: 'Information' does not exist except in the brains of modern people. Furthermore, such information blossoms from day to day such that most of us are 'left behind' in the resulting flow. Every new day produces new information. But not everybody becomes aware of that situation. Many people are surprised by new information. 'Huh?'
And that's a good thing.
----------
Sip. Learn! Learn every day! That is your mission on Earth!
Well into beer #8. Damn this is fun! Now what...? Ancient Horseshit! Yas! Sip.
With two beers left I have decided to do a double shot of Canadian Mist! Oh Canada! (I mixed up a double shot of CM and Diet Pepsi and am 'recovering' from a vicious attack of MR which resulted in much sneezing and mucus flowing. Snuff. Sip. Whoever is zapping me is not particularly 'Canadaphilic.'
I forgot what it was that I was about to expound about. Sip. End of CM. Yum!
Buzzing furiously at 1757. Cough.
Back from the fridge with beer #9 at 2000. Buzzing gloriously. Now what?
Aha! Reliable Information! Yes!
----------
There are two types of 'information:' Ancient Information (1) and Modern Information (2). Obviously, Modern Information always trumps Ancient Information. This very obvious fact nullifies all of Ancient Information! But here is the problem: 'Information' does not exist except in the brains of modern people. Furthermore, such information blossoms from day to day such that most of us are 'left behind' in the resulting flow. Every new day produces new information. But not everybody becomes aware of that situation. Many people are surprised by new information. 'Huh?'
And that's a good thing.
----------
Sip. Learn! Learn every day! That is your mission on Earth!
The Ultimate Intimate Lubricant.
(3)
I also recently did a video search on You Tube for 'prepuce retraction animation' and saw a video which seemed to suggest that a human penis was similar to a dog penis, retractionwise. Not so. The human penis is unique in that the inner and outer foreskin act very much like the inner and outer eyelid: very slippery! Here is what happens:
----------
When the penile skin is pulled toward the abdominal wall, the inner foreskin remains in place. The outer foreskin only slips back. The mucocutaneous junction slides back with the outer foreskin, 'revealing' the tip of the glans. Think, 'eyelid.' As the MC Junction slides further and further back, more and more of the glans is revealed, and more and more of the penile shaft aft of the sulcus is 'clothed' in the very sensitive inner foreskin. If the foreskin is retracted to the limit, the entire penis is in its most sensitive configuration, ready for the vagina. The least sensitive outer skin is 'piled up' close to the abdomen, and the (now externalized) penis is able to experience the warm slippery vagina in all its glory. What then happens is that the vagina and the penis reach a 'dynamic equalibrium' based on the amount of available lubrication: more lubrication, less foreskin movement; less lubrication, more foreskin movement. The foreskin is, in fact, the 'ultimate intimate lubricant,' and serves to make sex utterly delicious for both parties.
I also recently did a video search on You Tube for 'prepuce retraction animation' and saw a video which seemed to suggest that a human penis was similar to a dog penis, retractionwise. Not so. The human penis is unique in that the inner and outer foreskin act very much like the inner and outer eyelid: very slippery! Here is what happens:
----------
When the penile skin is pulled toward the abdominal wall, the inner foreskin remains in place. The outer foreskin only slips back. The mucocutaneous junction slides back with the outer foreskin, 'revealing' the tip of the glans. Think, 'eyelid.' As the MC Junction slides further and further back, more and more of the glans is revealed, and more and more of the penile shaft aft of the sulcus is 'clothed' in the very sensitive inner foreskin. If the foreskin is retracted to the limit, the entire penis is in its most sensitive configuration, ready for the vagina. The least sensitive outer skin is 'piled up' close to the abdomen, and the (now externalized) penis is able to experience the warm slippery vagina in all its glory. What then happens is that the vagina and the penis reach a 'dynamic equalibrium' based on the amount of available lubrication: more lubrication, less foreskin movement; less lubrication, more foreskin movement. The foreskin is, in fact, the 'ultimate intimate lubricant,' and serves to make sex utterly delicious for both parties.
Prepuce Retraction (or, Skinning it Back).
(2)
Sipping on beer #3 (of 10) at 1643. Sip. I didn't have to buy any new beer this week because I've been slowly (tap) accumulating left-over beer recently. About ten 3.2 Natural Lights seems to have been my recent limit. I have whiskey (Canadian Mist) backup just in case; otherwise I would no doubt feel just a bit apprehensive lest I run out of booze.
Sipping on beer #4 now, after making a couple of corrections to last week's blog. Buzzing nicely! Playing last weeks Beethoven. Sip. Yum! How can beer taste so awful and so good at the same time?! (Being gassed at 1711 - 4 coughs, sudden stuffy nose (tap). Nose running. Eyes watering also. Interestingly, cough was felt more in the left lung, and also left nasal mucosa became more 'stuffy.' Is there a 'relationship? Your guess is as good as mine. Is it possible that what I call 'gas' is actually caused by (boom) microwaves penetrating into the lungs? Would that explain R-Lung Gas and L-Lung Gas?)
Whatever it was seems to have stopped for the moment. Time to get back to work. I'll stick with last week's theme of 'Images' for now: Google - prepuce retraction. (Warning: this link shows many penises in various stages of retraction, disease, and/or morbidity. Go there only if you dare. Yuck. Be advised that there is a normal healthy dick shown in various stages of retraction near the top of the page.
Sipping on beer #3 (of 10) at 1643. Sip. I didn't have to buy any new beer this week because I've been slowly (tap) accumulating left-over beer recently. About ten 3.2 Natural Lights seems to have been my recent limit. I have whiskey (Canadian Mist) backup just in case; otherwise I would no doubt feel just a bit apprehensive lest I run out of booze.
Sipping on beer #4 now, after making a couple of corrections to last week's blog. Buzzing nicely! Playing last weeks Beethoven. Sip. Yum! How can beer taste so awful and so good at the same time?! (Being gassed at 1711 - 4 coughs, sudden stuffy nose (tap). Nose running. Eyes watering also. Interestingly, cough was felt more in the left lung, and also left nasal mucosa became more 'stuffy.' Is there a 'relationship? Your guess is as good as mine. Is it possible that what I call 'gas' is actually caused by (boom) microwaves penetrating into the lungs? Would that explain R-Lung Gas and L-Lung Gas?)
Whatever it was seems to have stopped for the moment. Time to get back to work. I'll stick with last week's theme of 'Images' for now: Google - prepuce retraction. (Warning: this link shows many penises in various stages of retraction, disease, and/or morbidity. Go there only if you dare. Yuck. Be advised that there is a normal healthy dick shown in various stages of retraction near the top of the page.
From Beer to Ecstacy and One Strange Trip.
(1)
First sip of beer #1 at 1533. Sip. Whew. It's been a long, strange, trip. Sip. No wonder the Founding Fathers decided to do this only once every four years. The House does this every two years, I think, and The Senate every six years. Lessee... and they all coincide every 12 years unless the H & S elections are intermingled every two years. (Hmm. That shows you how little I know about politics and the mechanics thereof. Civics bored the hell out of me in HS.) For the record I'm a lifelong 'Liberal Democrat/Independent' if there is such a thing. I even voted a few times, but that got me in trouble way back in late '50s-early '60s when, after voting in Kansas while in the military I was subjected to State Taxes. Major turnoff. After entering civilian life and moving to Colorado (tap) I tried the voting thing again in the '70s and was 'rewarded' by being put on the 'Jury Duty list.' But by then I was being stalked, and the ACSD was worse than useless. So I voted 'not guilty' in a federal case and the defendant was acquited when the rest of the jury went along with my (tap) reasoning. I was also 'smoking up' by then, and it was a 'drug case.' I was quite surprised when, some years later, Gerash told me that he was aware of how I had voted in that particular case! Huh?! That trial happened before I even knew Gerash! But Gerash knew me. Indeed, his 'mole' married my oldest daughter and even introduced us all to marijuana and LSD. A later attempt to introduce us to Cocaine failed, along with attempts (by others) to introduce me (alone) to Ecstacy and Heroin. I would have done Ecstacy (MDMA I think), but wouldn't touch Heroin with a ten foot pole. Gerash really fucked up when he put a 'drug afficionado' in our family and supplied us with Marijuana and LSD. We eventually grew our own Marijuana, but I haven't done LSD since about 1980. It is quite ironic that 'my stalker' provided me with the most stunning, mind-blowing experiences of my life!
Little did he know!
First sip of beer #1 at 1533. Sip. Whew. It's been a long, strange, trip. Sip. No wonder the Founding Fathers decided to do this only once every four years. The House does this every two years, I think, and The Senate every six years. Lessee... and they all coincide every 12 years unless the H & S elections are intermingled every two years. (Hmm. That shows you how little I know about politics and the mechanics thereof. Civics bored the hell out of me in HS.) For the record I'm a lifelong 'Liberal Democrat/Independent' if there is such a thing. I even voted a few times, but that got me in trouble way back in late '50s-early '60s when, after voting in Kansas while in the military I was subjected to State Taxes. Major turnoff. After entering civilian life and moving to Colorado (tap) I tried the voting thing again in the '70s and was 'rewarded' by being put on the 'Jury Duty list.' But by then I was being stalked, and the ACSD was worse than useless. So I voted 'not guilty' in a federal case and the defendant was acquited when the rest of the jury went along with my (tap) reasoning. I was also 'smoking up' by then, and it was a 'drug case.' I was quite surprised when, some years later, Gerash told me that he was aware of how I had voted in that particular case! Huh?! That trial happened before I even knew Gerash! But Gerash knew me. Indeed, his 'mole' married my oldest daughter and even introduced us all to marijuana and LSD. A later attempt to introduce us to Cocaine failed, along with attempts (by others) to introduce me (alone) to Ecstacy and Heroin. I would have done Ecstacy (MDMA I think), but wouldn't touch Heroin with a ten foot pole. Gerash really fucked up when he put a 'drug afficionado' in our family and supplied us with Marijuana and LSD. We eventually grew our own Marijuana, but I haven't done LSD since about 1980. It is quite ironic that 'my stalker' provided me with the most stunning, mind-blowing experiences of my life!
Little did he know!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Pediatrician.
(7)
We need some music. Beethoven Symphony #5, 4th movement. I heard this the other day on PBS radio. Glorious!
And now for something appropriately visual. But what?
Abraham today.
Good night and good luck! (sip)
We need some music. Beethoven Symphony #5, 4th movement. I heard this the other day on PBS radio. Glorious!
And now for something appropriately visual. But what?
Good night and good luck! (sip)
Mother Nature's Gift of Sleep.
(6)
That lucky little boy will also begin to link those night-time orgasms to other aspects of his life. He will begin to fantasize various scenerios while he masturbates. If he is heterosexual he will imagine how it might feel to slip his penis inside a woman's vagina. If he is homosexual he will imagine appropriate homosexual scenerios. He will become more aware of 'who he is sexually.' If he is 'hetero,' no problems; but if he is 'homo,' his sexual problems will begin. But that is another issue.
In any case, that lucky little boy will enjoy thousands and thousands of orgasms in his lifetime, and will sleep well at night. Very, very well.
Sip.
That lucky little boy will also begin to link those night-time orgasms to other aspects of his life. He will begin to fantasize various scenerios while he masturbates. If he is heterosexual he will imagine how it might feel to slip his penis inside a woman's vagina. If he is homosexual he will imagine appropriate homosexual scenerios. He will become more aware of 'who he is sexually.' If he is 'hetero,' no problems; but if he is 'homo,' his sexual problems will begin. But that is another issue.
In any case, that lucky little boy will enjoy thousands and thousands of orgasms in his lifetime, and will sleep well at night. Very, very well.
Sip.
Trust Mother Nature!
(5)
Which brings us to tonight's theme of 'sexual intactness.' Sexual intactness is a good thing! I cannot emphasize that too much! Do not circumcise your babies! Leave it alone! Abraham got it wrong! Mother Nature got it right! Trust Mother Nature!
Here is what will happen to your intact son. Here is Mother Nature's Program:
----------
1. At the age of about 11, your son will notice pleasant feelings in his penis, especially at night before he gets to sleep. He will inevitably grasp the head of his penis between his thumb and forefinger and slowly squeeze the head of his penis under his foreskin. The penile head will slip out of his grasp and his fingers will 'collide' separated by the two foreskin layers. He will do it again and again. Feels so good! His penis will swell up and become hard. The foreskin may retract slightly. He will be forced to get the rest of his hand involved. He will grasp the erect penis in one hand and jiggle his hand up and down. 'Oh yes!' 'Oh my God!' 'I love this!' He will continue to jiggle his penis up and down until he orgasms. That golden feeling of orgasm will literally stun him sleep!
He will do it again the next night. 'Oh my god!' It will become a nightly routine. He will sleep well every night and his next day will be appropriately magical. He will be a smart, happy little boy who enjoys his life.
Which brings us to tonight's theme of 'sexual intactness.' Sexual intactness is a good thing! I cannot emphasize that too much! Do not circumcise your babies! Leave it alone! Abraham got it wrong! Mother Nature got it right! Trust Mother Nature!
Here is what will happen to your intact son. Here is Mother Nature's Program:
----------
1. At the age of about 11, your son will notice pleasant feelings in his penis, especially at night before he gets to sleep. He will inevitably grasp the head of his penis between his thumb and forefinger and slowly squeeze the head of his penis under his foreskin. The penile head will slip out of his grasp and his fingers will 'collide' separated by the two foreskin layers. He will do it again and again. Feels so good! His penis will swell up and become hard. The foreskin may retract slightly. He will be forced to get the rest of his hand involved. He will grasp the erect penis in one hand and jiggle his hand up and down. 'Oh yes!' 'Oh my God!' 'I love this!' He will continue to jiggle his penis up and down until he orgasms. That golden feeling of orgasm will literally stun him sleep!
He will do it again the next night. 'Oh my god!' It will become a nightly routine. He will sleep well every night and his next day will be appropriately magical. He will be a smart, happy little boy who enjoys his life.
Oh Yeah!
(4)
And now, back to this week's theme, American Male Genital Mutilation.
I am happy to say that I am 'genitally intact.' (Sipping on beer #5 at 1632.) My penis has always worked perfectly. I have never had a UTI or a STD, although I have occasionally been 'somewhat promiscuous.' I 'caught the crabs' once in Japan and my girlfriend (Kootch) 'hunted them all down in my pubic hairs and killed them including their eggs.' Apparently I inadvertently passed them on to Kootch, who took care of her own crab problem first. I think I caught them from a japanese girl I met in a bar in Tokyo on May Day, 1956. Kootch and I were not married yet.
(Buzzing on beer #6 at 1650, buzzing gloriously! Sip.)
I got 'de-virginized' by a Japanese woman on Tokyo one night in 1955. Previous to that unforgettable occasion I masturbated very, very often. I even experienced several spontaneous orgasms before I discovered masturbation! Amazing. I didn't know what they were at the time, but when I did it in my bed for the first time at about age 11 or 12 I thought, 'Oh Yeah!'
And now, back to this week's theme, American Male Genital Mutilation.
I am happy to say that I am 'genitally intact.' (Sipping on beer #5 at 1632.) My penis has always worked perfectly. I have never had a UTI or a STD, although I have occasionally been 'somewhat promiscuous.' I 'caught the crabs' once in Japan and my girlfriend (Kootch) 'hunted them all down in my pubic hairs and killed them including their eggs.' Apparently I inadvertently passed them on to Kootch, who took care of her own crab problem first. I think I caught them from a japanese girl I met in a bar in Tokyo on May Day, 1956. Kootch and I were not married yet.
(Buzzing on beer #6 at 1650, buzzing gloriously! Sip.)
I got 'de-virginized' by a Japanese woman on Tokyo one night in 1955. Previous to that unforgettable occasion I masturbated very, very often. I even experienced several spontaneous orgasms before I discovered masturbation! Amazing. I didn't know what they were at the time, but when I did it in my bed for the first time at about age 11 or 12 I thought, 'Oh Yeah!'
Answers to last week's test.
(3)
Whew. Sip. Time to reread last week. Standby... Alright! Let's do the answers to the most recent 'test.' And the answers are:
1: a. (and 2: a.) Weekly Agony Show. God and Lucifer agreed to a weekly video link from Planet Hell to Asteroid Heaven showing the eternally condemned in Hell wallowing around in 'red hot lava.' This was a 30 minute show which was the #1 most popular show among Heaven's population. They all enjoyed watching the sufferings of those folks in Hell as they froze their collective ass off in Heaven. Schadenfreude gone apeshit.
3. c.
4. a.
5. None of the above.
6. a.
7. d.
Whew. Sip. Time to reread last week. Standby... Alright! Let's do the answers to the most recent 'test.' And the answers are:
1: a. (and 2: a.) Weekly Agony Show. God and Lucifer agreed to a weekly video link from Planet Hell to Asteroid Heaven showing the eternally condemned in Hell wallowing around in 'red hot lava.' This was a 30 minute show which was the #1 most popular show among Heaven's population. They all enjoyed watching the sufferings of those folks in Hell as they froze their collective ass off in Heaven. Schadenfreude gone apeshit.
3. c.
4. a.
5. None of the above.
6. a.
7. d.
Pictures Worth a Thousand Words.
(2)
Buzzing nicely on beer #2 at 1510. Sip. Continuing with the theme below, I did a little research this morning. We all know that 'a picture is worth a thousand words' (more or less), so I Googled US Circumcision Rate (Images). Very interesting! As I scanned the images I said to myself, 'Whew! That saved me a lot of time!' Highly recommended, folks. Then I Googled, Botched Circumcisions (images), and was again rewarded with many interesting visuals. Thank you Google Images! (Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1527. Sip.)
But wait, there's more! The Intact America Blog has some juicy images of Muslim mass circumcisions. Very bloody. Yuck. I just discovered this blog this morning. Looks very juicy. I put it on my 'to read list.'
Buzzing nicely on beer #2 at 1510. Sip. Continuing with the theme below, I did a little research this morning. We all know that 'a picture is worth a thousand words' (more or less), so I Googled US Circumcision Rate (Images). Very interesting! As I scanned the images I said to myself, 'Whew! That saved me a lot of time!' Highly recommended, folks. Then I Googled, Botched Circumcisions (images), and was again rewarded with many interesting visuals. Thank you Google Images! (Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1527. Sip.)
But wait, there's more! The Intact America Blog has some juicy images of Muslim mass circumcisions. Very bloody. Yuck. I just discovered this blog this morning. Looks very juicy. I put it on my 'to read list.'
Here We Go again, Folks...
(1)
Working on Diet Pepsi #4 at 1330. Sip. Might as well get to work on this week's blog, sip, the first theme of which is 'circumcision.' Here we go again, folks: The Jew-dominated American Academy of Pediatrics has once again endorsed routine infant circumcision - male only, at this time - claiming that it saves all of us money in the long run by reducing UTI (urinary tract infections) in the first year of life. Furthermore, when the infant becomes a sexual being after puberty we can expect even more savings in the form of a reduced risk of STI and penile cancer by golly!
The uh, downsides of this 'procedure' are, as usual, minimized:
(Now working on beer #1 after a shower and a shave. Sip!)
The first and most immediate downside is, of course, the botched circumcision (I claim that all routine infant circumcisions are botches). Here is an interesting example: The dangers of Plastibell circumcisions. (Caution. Contains juicy photographs.)
Then there are the decidedly unpleasant after-effects: Around the Bend: Unforseen Sexual Consequences of Infant Circumcision.
Finally, New Study: Circumcision Increases Likelyhood of STI and HIV Infections. Huh?! Say what?
Sipping on beer #2 at 1500. Sip. Kootch and I will view M tomorrow or Sunday. Sip. I'm too busy now. Sip. Yum!
Working on Diet Pepsi #4 at 1330. Sip. Might as well get to work on this week's blog, sip, the first theme of which is 'circumcision.' Here we go again, folks: The Jew-dominated American Academy of Pediatrics has once again endorsed routine infant circumcision - male only, at this time - claiming that it saves all of us money in the long run by reducing UTI (urinary tract infections) in the first year of life. Furthermore, when the infant becomes a sexual being after puberty we can expect even more savings in the form of a reduced risk of STI and penile cancer by golly!
The uh, downsides of this 'procedure' are, as usual, minimized:
(Now working on beer #1 after a shower and a shave. Sip!)
The first and most immediate downside is, of course, the botched circumcision (I claim that all routine infant circumcisions are botches). Here is an interesting example: The dangers of Plastibell circumcisions. (Caution. Contains juicy photographs.)
Then there are the decidedly unpleasant after-effects: Around the Bend: Unforseen Sexual Consequences of Infant Circumcision.
Finally, New Study: Circumcision Increases Likelyhood of STI and HIV Infections. Huh?! Say what?
Sipping on beer #2 at 1500. Sip. Kootch and I will view M tomorrow or Sunday. Sip. I'm too busy now. Sip. Yum!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Signing Out.
(5)
Working on beer#10 at 0010. Hows about another 'test'? I love it!
----------
1. WAS stands for:
a. Weekly Agony Show.
b. We Are Suckers!
c. Who Ate (my) Sandwich?
2. The WAS is a weekly program beamed:
a. From Hell to Heaven.
b. From Heaven to Hell.
c. From Earth to Mars.
3. God's 'premature ejaculation' destroyed all information concerning how to
a. Run the Universe...
b. ...and also burned the collective asses of 7 million Angels.
c. Both of the above.
4. God, following His 'Premature Ejaculation,' had no idea how to...
a. Manage The Universe.
b. Seduce The Virgin Mary.
c. Apologize to all those angels.
5. The result is that God,
a. Became very unpopular.
b. Became slightly unpopular.
c. Became slighty popular.
d. All of the above.
6. God revealed His 'true disposition' in
a. The book of Job.
b. The book of Job.
c. The Book of Job.
d. The Book of Job.
7. God would probably be diagnosed by 'modern Psychiatric Thought' as:
a. a Psychopath.
b. a Sociopath.
c. a bloodthirsty monster.
d. All of the above.
----------
Nighty-night!
Working on beer#10 at 0010. Hows about another 'test'? I love it!
----------
1. WAS stands for:
a. Weekly Agony Show.
b. We Are Suckers!
c. Who Ate (my) Sandwich?
2. The WAS is a weekly program beamed:
a. From Hell to Heaven.
b. From Heaven to Hell.
c. From Earth to Mars.
3. God's 'premature ejaculation' destroyed all information concerning how to
a. Run the Universe...
b. ...and also burned the collective asses of 7 million Angels.
c. Both of the above.
4. God, following His 'Premature Ejaculation,' had no idea how to...
a. Manage The Universe.
b. Seduce The Virgin Mary.
c. Apologize to all those angels.
5. The result is that God,
a. Became very unpopular.
b. Became slightly unpopular.
c. Became slighty popular.
d. All of the above.
6. God revealed His 'true disposition' in
a. The book of Job.
b. The book of Job.
c. The Book of Job.
d. The Book of Job.
7. God would probably be diagnosed by 'modern Psychiatric Thought' as:
a. a Psychopath.
b. a Sociopath.
c. a bloodthirsty monster.
d. All of the above.
----------
Nighty-night!
Friday, August 17, 2012
The Rose.
(4)
Working on beer #7 (I think) at about 2216.
I need some music and some visuals. Lessee... Sip... The Rose! Sung by Suzan, Carmen and Carla. Sip.
Now I need to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM concerning Osho: I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately.
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Osho: Heaven or Hell?
gd: Hell! How dare you!
me: Just curious. Jesus: Heaven or Hell?
gd: (hangs up) (huge blast of 'Face (tap) Rad' as I wrote that. Much sneezing and mucus production.)
----------
Concerning 'Tonight's Osho,' I can relate: At age six I was taught 'how to confess' and 'How to receive communion.' As a result, my young brain made literally millions of new connections. It was, of course, 'cultural conditioning.' I was taught that after confessing my sins and swallowing 'The Host' (Jesus' body and blood) I would feel 'absolutely wonderful.'
Not so! I felt only hunger. I remember creating a million new brain connections right then and there which produced, in my right (emotional) brain the feeling, 'Bullshit.' I began questioning everything I was taught. It became a lifelong emotional attitude. I eventually evolved into a 'sceptic.'
In my opinion, many Jews so evolve (tap above) when they realize the terrible consequences of religious sexual mutilation.
Kootch and I recently celebrated our 55th anniversary. I bought her a dozen red roses. She recently 'hung the last of them up to dry' (boom) such that they would all dry out in the 'straight position.' She will then add them to a plastic pot in which, many years ago, we grew Pot. Dry roses in a plastic pot are still beautiful...
Working on beer #7 (I think) at about 2216.
I need some music and some visuals. Lessee... Sip... The Rose! Sung by Suzan, Carmen and Carla. Sip.
Now I need to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM concerning Osho: I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately.
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Osho: Heaven or Hell?
gd: Hell! How dare you!
me: Just curious. Jesus: Heaven or Hell?
gd: (hangs up) (huge blast of 'Face (tap) Rad' as I wrote that. Much sneezing and mucus production.)
----------
Concerning 'Tonight's Osho,' I can relate: At age six I was taught 'how to confess' and 'How to receive communion.' As a result, my young brain made literally millions of new connections. It was, of course, 'cultural conditioning.' I was taught that after confessing my sins and swallowing 'The Host' (Jesus' body and blood) I would feel 'absolutely wonderful.'
Not so! I felt only hunger. I remember creating a million new brain connections right then and there which produced, in my right (emotional) brain the feeling, 'Bullshit.' I began questioning everything I was taught. It became a lifelong emotional attitude. I eventually evolved into a 'sceptic.'
In my opinion, many Jews so evolve (tap above) when they realize the terrible consequences of religious sexual mutilation.
Tonight's Osho.
(3)
Time for tonight's 'Osho Quotations.' Osho (formerly Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) was and remains a 'cult figure.' (tap - heard above the noise generated by my favorite sleeping aid, Simplynoise). (I just peed and visited the kitchen where I adjusted the 'drop rate' such that the drops made the loudest noise and produced the biggest splash. Somebody should do this on You Tube speeded up! I would love to see the result!)
Back with beer #6 at 2126. Where was I? Osho!
My current 'potty book' is, The Book: an introduction to the teachings of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Series III, R to Z. Currently out of print, I think. Lessee... I just opened the book to a random page: I selected 'Self Acceptance' on page 160. I will quote from the beginning:
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Self Acceptance 'The problem is that you don't accept yourself. You can call it compulsion or you can call it something else - but you don't accept yourself as you are. (Nose dripping suddenly - wall bang as I blow my nose.) You want to improve yourself - and there is the core of the problem... if that is your pattern, then that is you.
Improvement is not possible. Improvement is a very false notion. It has never happened... it cannot happen. By the nature of things it is not possible. Nobody ever improves because everybody is already that which one can be, so one has to relax and accept it. If that is your pattern, then that is you.
Once you accept it, then things will start changing. And I don't say that they will improve - I say they will start changing...'
----------
And it goes on for about two pages. Osho was 'widely read' and gathered thousands of ideas from the books he studied.
Time for tonight's 'Osho Quotations.' Osho (formerly Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) was and remains a 'cult figure.' (tap - heard above the noise generated by my favorite sleeping aid, Simplynoise). (I just peed and visited the kitchen where I adjusted the 'drop rate' such that the drops made the loudest noise and produced the biggest splash. Somebody should do this on You Tube speeded up! I would love to see the result!)
Back with beer #6 at 2126. Where was I? Osho!
My current 'potty book' is, The Book: an introduction to the teachings of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Series III, R to Z. Currently out of print, I think. Lessee... I just opened the book to a random page: I selected 'Self Acceptance' on page 160. I will quote from the beginning:
----------
Self Acceptance 'The problem is that you don't accept yourself. You can call it compulsion or you can call it something else - but you don't accept yourself as you are. (Nose dripping suddenly - wall bang as I blow my nose.) You want to improve yourself - and there is the core of the problem... if that is your pattern, then that is you.
Improvement is not possible. Improvement is a very false notion. It has never happened... it cannot happen. By the nature of things it is not possible. Nobody ever improves because everybody is already that which one can be, so one has to relax and accept it. If that is your pattern, then that is you.
Once you accept it, then things will start changing. And I don't say that they will improve - I say they will start changing...'
----------
And it goes on for about two pages. Osho was 'widely read' and gathered thousands of ideas from the books he studied.
A Depressing Subject.
(2)
Working on beer #4 (of 18) at 1937. Buzzing nicely. Sip. There are two very interesting items in last week's 'To Do' list that I failed to address for (to me) unknown reasons. The blog seemed to end prematurely and I don't remember why. Sip. The first is, 'Provigil.' (tap) I first saw Provigil mentioned on CNN two or three weeks ago. Very interesting interview! Provigil was touted as a kind of miracle drug which increased 'consciousness' (my term) and brain function, but had no apparent 'undesirable side effects.' I was fascinated because it sounded like a way for me to counter my sleep-deprivation problems produced by night-time microwave radiation attacks. But as I thought about it later, I decided not to seek a 'solution' which allowed 'the problem' to go unaddressed. The best 'cure' was to eliminate 'the problem.' What is 'the problem?' (tap) Here is the problem:
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I am currently enduring a unique 'stalking situation.' The 'symptoms' are:
a. Constant 24/7 surveillance and invasion of privacy.
b. Frequent unwanted communications. (Tapping, stomping.)
c. Frequent 'irritating 'gas.'
d. Almost constant microwave irradiation, especially noticable when I am a 'fixed target' in bed trying to sleep.
----------
Regarding a and b: A tap just above the bathroom exhaust fan (tap) when I pee. After years of observing the tap 'pattern' I have concluded that 'they' do not 'tap' when 'they' think I might also be 'pooping' soon. The kitchen is another 'tap area.' No 'stomps,' just taps. The LR and the BR are areas of both taps and stomps and occasional 'wall bangs.' Many years ago, the kitchen was a prime 'stomp area.' No more. Nowadays it is the most 'intimate tapping' area.
Regarding c: There are basically two types of gas: constant gas, usually in the LR in the mornings (tap), which is not noticable until I 'clear my throat,' (tap) and 'acute gas' (I call it 'throat gas') which 'comes on' suddenly and causes sometimes violent coughing, occasionally for as long as 5-10 minutes.
Regarding d, it took me literally years to fig (tap) ure out what the problem was. And, interestingly, my brain was 'working on the problem' right from the start. I thought at first that it was Ionizing Radiation, but research suggested that it couldn't be. I eventually stumbled on the idea of microwave radiation. That is my current thinking. Nowadays I am pretty much certain about that.
What a depressing subject!
----------
Working on beer #4 (of 18) at 1937. Buzzing nicely. Sip. There are two very interesting items in last week's 'To Do' list that I failed to address for (to me) unknown reasons. The blog seemed to end prematurely and I don't remember why. Sip. The first is, 'Provigil.' (tap) I first saw Provigil mentioned on CNN two or three weeks ago. Very interesting interview! Provigil was touted as a kind of miracle drug which increased 'consciousness' (my term) and brain function, but had no apparent 'undesirable side effects.' I was fascinated because it sounded like a way for me to counter my sleep-deprivation problems produced by night-time microwave radiation attacks. But as I thought about it later, I decided not to seek a 'solution' which allowed 'the problem' to go unaddressed. The best 'cure' was to eliminate 'the problem.' What is 'the problem?' (tap) Here is the problem:
----------
I am currently enduring a unique 'stalking situation.' The 'symptoms' are:
a. Constant 24/7 surveillance and invasion of privacy.
b. Frequent unwanted communications. (Tapping, stomping.)
c. Frequent 'irritating 'gas.'
d. Almost constant microwave irradiation, especially noticable when I am a 'fixed target' in bed trying to sleep.
----------
Regarding a and b: A tap just above the bathroom exhaust fan (tap) when I pee. After years of observing the tap 'pattern' I have concluded that 'they' do not 'tap' when 'they' think I might also be 'pooping' soon. The kitchen is another 'tap area.' No 'stomps,' just taps. The LR and the BR are areas of both taps and stomps and occasional 'wall bangs.' Many years ago, the kitchen was a prime 'stomp area.' No more. Nowadays it is the most 'intimate tapping' area.
Regarding c: There are basically two types of gas: constant gas, usually in the LR in the mornings (tap), which is not noticable until I 'clear my throat,' (tap) and 'acute gas' (I call it 'throat gas') which 'comes on' suddenly and causes sometimes violent coughing, occasionally for as long as 5-10 minutes.
Regarding d, it took me literally years to fig (tap) ure out what the problem was. And, interestingly, my brain was 'working on the problem' right from the start. I thought at first that it was Ionizing Radiation, but research suggested that it couldn't be. I eventually stumbled on the idea of microwave radiation. That is my current thinking. Nowadays I am pretty much certain about that.
What a depressing subject!
----------
Test Questions Answered.
(1)
Sipping on beer #1 at 1817. Sip. I'm late because I wasn't sure I'd got enough sleep last night. (Bed at 2330. Heavy rad 0330-1130. Up at 1130.) Apparently I did. Sip. Rereading last week's blog I see that I forgot to 'flour' the frying surfaces of the Tofu slabs. You cooks out there no doubt caught that. And it looks like Blogger started in the 'older mode' this time.
The 'Myth Test!' 'My' version of the Judeo-Christian Myth is called Religious Satire. Now for the 'correct' answers to the test:
----------
1. a. WHTZSNM - 666. WHTZSNM stands for 'What's His Name.' (The Jewish god apparently has many names.) And 666 is the number of the 'Beast' in the Book of Revelation. I think...
2. a. Intelligent Design. God ordered Satan (later re-named, 'Lucifer') to re-recreate the world depicted in a movie He liked as He poked around in The Future. Lucifer (light bearer) and his team of angels required 20 million years to design that Universe.
3. a. Consonants only. Sounds weird. Really weird.
4. a. On the planet Hell, which is not too far (in astronomical terms) from the asteroid, Heaven. (Buzzing on beer #2 at 1850. Sip.)
5. a. A psychiatrist. Business is booming.
6. a. Panties smuggled in from Planet Hell.
7. a. 'Let there be Light?!' This very, very premature 'ejaculation' was supposed to be uttered only when God was totally alone.
8. a. Galileo. He had planned to present it to The Pope Urban VIII but changed his mind when The Inquisition placed him under house arrest. (Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1907. Sip.)
9. Both a. and b. are correct. The temperature of Hell is very 'Earthlike.' The temperature of Heaven, on the other hand, is much, much colder. (See Kelvin.)
10. a. The middle finger. This was one of the modifications Galileo made to the Brown Telephone while under house arrest.
Sipping on beer #1 at 1817. Sip. I'm late because I wasn't sure I'd got enough sleep last night. (Bed at 2330. Heavy rad 0330-1130. Up at 1130.) Apparently I did. Sip. Rereading last week's blog I see that I forgot to 'flour' the frying surfaces of the Tofu slabs. You cooks out there no doubt caught that. And it looks like Blogger started in the 'older mode' this time.
The 'Myth Test!' 'My' version of the Judeo-Christian Myth is called Religious Satire. Now for the 'correct' answers to the test:
----------
1. a. WHTZSNM - 666. WHTZSNM stands for 'What's His Name.' (The Jewish god apparently has many names.) And 666 is the number of the 'Beast' in the Book of Revelation. I think...
2. a. Intelligent Design. God ordered Satan (later re-named, 'Lucifer') to re-recreate the world depicted in a movie He liked as He poked around in The Future. Lucifer (light bearer) and his team of angels required 20 million years to design that Universe.
3. a. Consonants only. Sounds weird. Really weird.
4. a. On the planet Hell, which is not too far (in astronomical terms) from the asteroid, Heaven. (Buzzing on beer #2 at 1850. Sip.)
5. a. A psychiatrist. Business is booming.
6. a. Panties smuggled in from Planet Hell.
7. a. 'Let there be Light?!' This very, very premature 'ejaculation' was supposed to be uttered only when God was totally alone.
8. a. Galileo. He had planned to present it to The Pope Urban VIII but changed his mind when The Inquisition placed him under house arrest. (Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1907. Sip.)
9. Both a. and b. are correct. The temperature of Hell is very 'Earthlike.' The temperature of Heaven, on the other hand, is much, much colder. (See Kelvin.)
10. a. The middle finger. This was one of the modifications Galileo made to the Brown Telephone while under house arrest.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Living Here. Living Now.
(3)
Sipping on beer #9 at 1844. Sip. Buzzing nicely! Kootch seems to be asleep. Sip. I think I'll do 'Bhagwanisms' in this one. 'Bhagwan' (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) was an Indian Mystic who at one time claimed to be 'enlightened,' but who later claimed not to be. I love his books! I learned quite a lot about 'us' by reading his books. Highly recommended! You will learn, from reading Bhagwan, such truths as, 'Here and Now is the only reality. All else is illusion.'
Bhagwan was really, really, into 'modern religions.' He studied them all endlessly, and he sometimes 'combined them' into a 'psycho-religious context.' But apparently he never did Acid! Too bad!
Hmm. I need some 'visuals.' Hmm. The Pope! He is obviously 'in The Now.' It seems to me that he is smiling at his 'impersonation' of Santa Claus.
Sipping on beer #9 at 1844. Sip. Buzzing nicely! Kootch seems to be asleep. Sip. I think I'll do 'Bhagwanisms' in this one. 'Bhagwan' (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) was an Indian Mystic who at one time claimed to be 'enlightened,' but who later claimed not to be. I love his books! I learned quite a lot about 'us' by reading his books. Highly recommended! You will learn, from reading Bhagwan, such truths as, 'Here and Now is the only reality. All else is illusion.'
Bhagwan was really, really, into 'modern religions.' He studied them all endlessly, and he sometimes 'combined them' into a 'psycho-religious context.' But apparently he never did Acid! Too bad!
The Myth Test
(2)
'The Myth Test' refers to my version of the Judeo-Christian-Muslim Myth (Monotheism). It is my own 'creation' which is to say that it is a 'plausible variant' given the ancient religious texts available. True, it is not at all 'Muslim,' because Mohammedism is a relatively recent iteration of the Judeo-Christian myth and I know very little about that religion. (Face Rad causing nose dripping as I wrote that.) My version of the Judeo-Christian Myth therefore contains nothing at all relating specifically to Mohammedism. So tonight's 'test' is a simple 'multiple choice' test. I will provide the answers next week. Sip.
----------
1. The Jewish God's name and phone number is:
a. WHTZSNM - 666
b. WHTHFCK - 666
c. MNYHNY - 666
2. Sip. The Universe is a product of
a. Intelligent Design
b. Unintelligent Design
c. The individual perceiver.
3. Sip. The Holy Ghost speaks in
a. Consonants only
b. Vowels only
c. Tongues
4. Jesus is now living
a. On Hell
b. In Heaven
c. On a spaceship
5. Jesus is nowadays very busy as
a. A psychiatrist
b. A stockbroker
c. A chimp
6. The Virgin Mary is currently addicted to
a. Panties
b. Bloody Marys
c. My Blog
(Back from the fridge with beer #7. Kootch is watching last night's Bronco Game on her TiVo.)
7. History's most memorable 'premature ejaculation' was
a. 'Let there be light!?'
b. 'OMG! Sorry, Mary.'
c. 'Ok. Ya got me.'
8. The Brown Telephone was invented by
a. Galileo
b. Abraham
c. Bell
9. The average daytime temperature is:
a. Hell: 80 degrees F.
b. Heaven: 10 degrees Kelvin.
c. Pluto: 12 degrees Kelvin.
10. The Brown Telephone requires 'an antenna' to work properly. The only adequate antenna for The Brown Telephone is:
a. The user's middle finger.
b. A fork.
c. The user's tongue.
----------
'The Myth Test' refers to my version of the Judeo-Christian-Muslim Myth (Monotheism). It is my own 'creation' which is to say that it is a 'plausible variant' given the ancient religious texts available. True, it is not at all 'Muslim,' because Mohammedism is a relatively recent iteration of the Judeo-Christian myth and I know very little about that religion. (Face Rad causing nose dripping as I wrote that.) My version of the Judeo-Christian Myth therefore contains nothing at all relating specifically to Mohammedism. So tonight's 'test' is a simple 'multiple choice' test. I will provide the answers next week. Sip.
----------
1. The Jewish God's name and phone number is:
a. WHTZSNM - 666
b. WHTHFCK - 666
c. MNYHNY - 666
2. Sip. The Universe is a product of
a. Intelligent Design
b. Unintelligent Design
c. The individual perceiver.
3. Sip. The Holy Ghost speaks in
a. Consonants only
b. Vowels only
c. Tongues
4. Jesus is now living
a. On Hell
b. In Heaven
c. On a spaceship
5. Jesus is nowadays very busy as
a. A psychiatrist
b. A stockbroker
c. A chimp
6. The Virgin Mary is currently addicted to
a. Panties
b. Bloody Marys
c. My Blog
(Back from the fridge with beer #7. Kootch is watching last night's Bronco Game on her TiVo.)
7. History's most memorable 'premature ejaculation' was
a. 'Let there be light!?'
b. 'OMG! Sorry, Mary.'
c. 'Ok. Ya got me.'
8. The Brown Telephone was invented by
a. Galileo
b. Abraham
c. Bell
9. The average daytime temperature is:
a. Hell: 80 degrees F.
b. Heaven: 10 degrees Kelvin.
c. Pluto: 12 degrees Kelvin.
10. The Brown Telephone requires 'an antenna' to work properly. The only adequate antenna for The Brown Telephone is:
a. The user's middle finger.
b. A fork.
c. The user's tongue.
----------
Tofu Recipe
(1)
Kootch and I just finished today's M. Now working on beer #2. Sip. Buzzing slightly. 'They' are forcing me to use 'the new edition' of Blogger. Hmm. 'Buzzing' and 'Learning' don't go well together. Sip.
Ten hours 'in the sack' yielded enough sleep, but I'm not feeling very 'inspired.' Sip, sip.
Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1612, feeling a bit buzzier... Sip. Don't worry, I have a 'to do list' for tonight's blog just in case:
----------
Tofu recipe.
Curiosity...
Myth Test.
'Sick' Temple Massacre.
Provigil.
Bhagwanisms.
Visual.
----------
I'll start with the Tofu recipe: Buy a one pound pack of Tofu. Open and drain. Sip. Slice once horizontally to produce two flat slabs. Remove excess moisture by pressing tofu between paper towels. Sprinkle with Iodized Salt, and pepper. Sip. Sip. Back from the fridge at 1633 with beer #4. Sip. Fry tofu on both sides in 'healthy oil' (Olive oil, Walnut oil, Canola oil or other healthy oil) until slightly brown. Serve with soy sauce or other yummy sauce. Very healthy with rotsa calcium. Yum!
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Buzzing nicely on beer #4 at 1646. Sip. This is more like it!
Kootch and I just finished today's M. Now working on beer #2. Sip. Buzzing slightly. 'They' are forcing me to use 'the new edition' of Blogger. Hmm. 'Buzzing' and 'Learning' don't go well together. Sip.
Ten hours 'in the sack' yielded enough sleep, but I'm not feeling very 'inspired.' Sip, sip.
Back from the fridge with beer #3 at 1612, feeling a bit buzzier... Sip. Don't worry, I have a 'to do list' for tonight's blog just in case:
----------
Tofu recipe.
Curiosity...
Myth Test.
'Sick' Temple Massacre.
Provigil.
Bhagwanisms.
Visual.
----------
I'll start with the Tofu recipe: Buy a one pound pack of Tofu. Open and drain. Sip. Slice once horizontally to produce two flat slabs. Remove excess moisture by pressing tofu between paper towels. Sprinkle with Iodized Salt, and pepper. Sip. Sip. Back from the fridge at 1633 with beer #4. Sip. Fry tofu on both sides in 'healthy oil' (Olive oil, Walnut oil, Canola oil or other healthy oil) until slightly brown. Serve with soy sauce or other yummy sauce. Very healthy with rotsa calcium. Yum!
----------
Buzzing nicely on beer #4 at 1646. Sip. This is more like it!
Friday, August 03, 2012
'Not tonight, Honey.'
(1)
Not enough sleep last night due to heavy microwave radiation. (tap)
Not enough sleep last night due to heavy microwave radiation. (tap)
