Wednesday, July 03, 2013
The Downside of Omniscience.
(2)
Now working on beer #5 at 1909. Sip. There was a small hardware problem which prevented me from finishing post #2, and that post was 'lost' as a result. So lessee... Ah! The God Interview!
I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately:
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gd: Hello?
me: The Human Race recently came up with the idea of finding and deflecting rogue asteroids which might threaten Earth. Do You think that might be a good idea?
gd: You are disgusting! I refuse to talk with you concerning any subject even remotely involving the human processes of... yuck... 'elimination.' Forget it!
me: I'm talking 'Asteroids.' You're thinking, 'Hemorroids.' Totally different.
gd: Oh...
gd: Ok, I'll bite: What are 'Asteroids?' (Being zapped with heavy face rad... now back from the LR after clearing out huge amounts of nasal mucus...)
me: Huge space rocks orbiting The Sun.
gd: Orbiting?
me: Earth orbits The Sun. So do Asteroids. Sometimes they collide with Earth and the results can be catastrophic. In fact, The Dinosaurs were pretty much extinguished by a giant asteroid which collided with Earth. NASA wants to detect these future threats to Earth's existence. I'm wondering if You have any suggestions in that regard.
gd: Dinosaurs?
me A species of reptile which roamed The Earth many millions of years ago.
gd: Lemme get this straight: Asteroids can kill millions of humans and animals? Could an asteroid kill every human on Earth?
me: Yes. Very possible. We call them, 'Killer Asteroids.'
gd: Interesting! I need to do a little research... G'bye.
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Darn it! God hung up just before I got to 'needle Him' about His penchant for lurking just below water level in every bathroom potty, in the interest of seeing and 'knowing everything that happens on Earth.' Oh well...
Now working on beer #5 at 1909. Sip. There was a small hardware problem which prevented me from finishing post #2, and that post was 'lost' as a result. So lessee... Ah! The God Interview!
I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: The Human Race recently came up with the idea of finding and deflecting rogue asteroids which might threaten Earth. Do You think that might be a good idea?
gd: You are disgusting! I refuse to talk with you concerning any subject even remotely involving the human processes of... yuck... 'elimination.' Forget it!
me: I'm talking 'Asteroids.' You're thinking, 'Hemorroids.' Totally different.
gd: Oh...
gd: Ok, I'll bite: What are 'Asteroids?' (Being zapped with heavy face rad... now back from the LR after clearing out huge amounts of nasal mucus...)
me: Huge space rocks orbiting The Sun.
gd: Orbiting?
me: Earth orbits The Sun. So do Asteroids. Sometimes they collide with Earth and the results can be catastrophic. In fact, The Dinosaurs were pretty much extinguished by a giant asteroid which collided with Earth. NASA wants to detect these future threats to Earth's existence. I'm wondering if You have any suggestions in that regard.
gd: Dinosaurs?
me A species of reptile which roamed The Earth many millions of years ago.
gd: Lemme get this straight: Asteroids can kill millions of humans and animals? Could an asteroid kill every human on Earth?
me: Yes. Very possible. We call them, 'Killer Asteroids.'
gd: Interesting! I need to do a little research... G'bye.
----------
Darn it! God hung up just before I got to 'needle Him' about His penchant for lurking just below water level in every bathroom potty, in the interest of seeing and 'knowing everything that happens on Earth.' Oh well...
