Friday, May 25, 2012
How to Avoid Going to Heaven.
(3)
Back from the fridge with beer #4 at 1749. NBC News has a story about naughty doings at the Vatican. Tsk, tsk! Sip. (Only 12 beers left. Darn.)
While I had the phone out, I decided to call Lucifer:
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lu: Hello?
me: I just got off the phone with God. He seems 'technologically challenged.'
lu: Very. You are a good judge of 'character.'
me: Really?
lu: Ok, fair judge of 'character.' What was the 'technology?'
me: We didn't get that far, but it involves the abolition of suffering.
lu: Alright! I wasn't aware you were that advanced!
me: We're thinking about it. How is Hell doing in that regard?
lu: We're almost there; but be advised, it's more difficult than you can currently imagine. Much more difficult.
me: Can you give us a little hint?
lu: Think 'genetic entanglement.'
me: Aha. Do you think I should broach the subject with God again?
lu: It's hopeless. My advice is, 'Leave it alone.'
me: What about the simple philosophic principle of 'a Universe without suffering?'
lu: It's a good subject to bring up if you ever suspect that you might be scheduled to go to Heaven when you die.
me: Thanks! I'll remember that!
lu: You are certainly welcome.
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Back from the fridge with beer #4 at 1749. NBC News has a story about naughty doings at the Vatican. Tsk, tsk! Sip. (Only 12 beers left. Darn.)
While I had the phone out, I decided to call Lucifer:
----------
lu: Hello?
me: I just got off the phone with God. He seems 'technologically challenged.'
lu: Very. You are a good judge of 'character.'
me: Really?
lu: Ok, fair judge of 'character.' What was the 'technology?'
me: We didn't get that far, but it involves the abolition of suffering.
lu: Alright! I wasn't aware you were that advanced!
me: We're thinking about it. How is Hell doing in that regard?
lu: We're almost there; but be advised, it's more difficult than you can currently imagine. Much more difficult.
me: Can you give us a little hint?
lu: Think 'genetic entanglement.'
me: Aha. Do you think I should broach the subject with God again?
lu: It's hopeless. My advice is, 'Leave it alone.'
me: What about the simple philosophic principle of 'a Universe without suffering?'
lu: It's a good subject to bring up if you ever suspect that you might be scheduled to go to Heaven when you die.
me: Thanks! I'll remember that!
lu: You are certainly welcome.
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