Friday, March 16, 2012
My GTH Score is Zero.
(3)
But wait! There's more! Question: 'Do you really, really, want to go to Heaven after you die?' The question has really, really been nagging at me lately, so I decided to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately: Sip.
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gd: Hello?
me: A recent accident has me wondering about my current GTH Score (GTH: 'Go To Heaven').
gd: This is a joke. Right?
me: Actually, yes. But can you give me a number in that regard?
gd: Zero.
me: Darn.
gd: Yep. Nothing personal.
me: (click)
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Overjoyed, I then called Lucifer.
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lu: Hello?
me: I just checked my GTH score. Wanna guess what it is?
lu: Zero.
me: Correct!
lu: I keep track of that stuff. It's my job.
me: Yes, I know. But I'm wondering: Suppose I make a Perfect Act of Contrition just before I die. Will that change anything?
lu: This is a joke. Right?
me: Just thought I'd check...
lu: Anything else?
me: How's Jesus' Psychiatric Business going?
lu: Booming!
----------
Whew.
But wait! There's more! Question: 'Do you really, really, want to go to Heaven after you die?' The question has really, really been nagging at me lately, so I decided to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately: Sip.
----------
gd: Hello?
me: A recent accident has me wondering about my current GTH Score (GTH: 'Go To Heaven').
gd: This is a joke. Right?
me: Actually, yes. But can you give me a number in that regard?
gd: Zero.
me: Darn.
gd: Yep. Nothing personal.
me: (click)
----------
Overjoyed, I then called Lucifer.
----------
lu: Hello?
me: I just checked my GTH score. Wanna guess what it is?
lu: Zero.
me: Correct!
lu: I keep track of that stuff. It's my job.
me: Yes, I know. But I'm wondering: Suppose I make a Perfect Act of Contrition just before I die. Will that change anything?
lu: This is a joke. Right?
me: Just thought I'd check...
lu: Anything else?
me: How's Jesus' Psychiatric Business going?
lu: Booming!
----------
Whew.
