Friday, June 03, 2011
Not to Worry.
(3)
Yep.
Which brings us to the question of whether or not cell phones cause brain cancer. The WHO (World Health Organization) has classified all cell phone radiation as possibly carcinogenic. ((faint wall boom above) (tap) (stomp)
(Just re-read last week. Listening to Beethoven.))
As you may know, I am the world's most famous Radiation Test Dummy, and so my opinion in the matter should be of interest. Therefore I will give you my opinion. But first you need to know that cell phone radiation and microwave radiation are the same kinds of radiation. Only the frequencies are different. Also, cell phones emit (oops, I'm missing ABC NEWS) tiny amounts of radiation, whereas microwave ovens emit huge amounts of radiation, relatively speaking (think, 'tempest-teapot'). Moreover (is that a word?) microwave radiation is different from ionizing radiation. The nuclear meltdowns in Japan are producing ionizing radiation. Your microwave oven produces only microwave radiation, not ionizing radiation (like X-Rays). (Feeling much better now that booze is masking sleep deprivation!) Ionizing radiation definitely can produce cancer. The question is (oh, very funny), can microwave radiation also produce cancer?
Well, folks, if it can I am in deep doo-doo. But maybe not! I am old. That helps. I might die before the cancer can strike! Alright!
Except for sleep deprivation and cataract (tap) formation, and itching, and stinging, and skin-crawling, and pricking, and random muscle-twitching, and teeth-chattering, and other synchronous muscle contractions, and sneezing, and nasal swelling, and nasal dripping, and unusual heating, I can discern no ill effects.
Therefore, given the available evidence so far, my opinion is, 'Not to worry.'
Yep.
Which brings us to the question of whether or not cell phones cause brain cancer. The WHO (World Health Organization) has classified all cell phone radiation as possibly carcinogenic. ((faint wall boom above) (tap) (stomp)
(Just re-read last week. Listening to Beethoven.))
As you may know, I am the world's most famous Radiation Test Dummy, and so my opinion in the matter should be of interest. Therefore I will give you my opinion. But first you need to know that cell phone radiation and microwave radiation are the same kinds of radiation. Only the frequencies are different. Also, cell phones emit (oops, I'm missing ABC NEWS) tiny amounts of radiation, whereas microwave ovens emit huge amounts of radiation, relatively speaking (think, 'tempest-teapot'). Moreover (is that a word?) microwave radiation is different from ionizing radiation. The nuclear meltdowns in Japan are producing ionizing radiation. Your microwave oven produces only microwave radiation, not ionizing radiation (like X-Rays). (Feeling much better now that booze is masking sleep deprivation!) Ionizing radiation definitely can produce cancer. The question is (oh, very funny), can microwave radiation also produce cancer?
Well, folks, if it can I am in deep doo-doo. But maybe not! I am old. That helps. I might die before the cancer can strike! Alright!
Except for sleep deprivation and cataract (tap) formation, and itching, and stinging, and skin-crawling, and pricking, and random muscle-twitching, and teeth-chattering, and other synchronous muscle contractions, and sneezing, and nasal swelling, and nasal dripping, and unusual heating, I can discern no ill effects.
Therefore, given the available evidence so far, my opinion is, 'Not to worry.'
