Friday, June 03, 2011
The 'God Interview.'
(6)
That fact is probably the real reason why God hates foreskins. I decided to test that hypothesis. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately:
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gd: Hello?
me: Me again.
gd: Argh.
me: Do you routinely observe Human affairs?
gd: Of course. I am God! Get to the point. I'm very busy at the moment.
me: I'm wondering how deeply you delve into personal individual doings at night.
gd: Right to the bottom.
me: Can You discern any motion under the covers of, say, a 13 year old?
gd: Of course. I am God. What is your question?
me: Can You actually observe a typical 13 year old penis?
gd: Obviously. I am God.
me: Under the covers? At night?
gd: Yes. Will you please get to the point?
me: Can You detect masturbation?
gd: Of course.
me: Do You like watching?
gd: Watching what?
me: Masturbation.
gd: I hate watching masturbation.
me: Then, why watch? Why not 'space it out?'
gd: It's My job to watch. I am God.
(Kootch just walked past me on the way to the potty at 2205. I began waving to her about 5 seconds before she appeared on her way back to her room. She responded with waves of her own.)
me: Does 'Doctor Kevorkian' ring a bell with you?
gd: No.
me: Nighty-night.
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That fact is probably the real reason why God hates foreskins. I decided to test that hypothesis. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and 'extended the antenna.' God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Me again.
gd: Argh.
me: Do you routinely observe Human affairs?
gd: Of course. I am God! Get to the point. I'm very busy at the moment.
me: I'm wondering how deeply you delve into personal individual doings at night.
gd: Right to the bottom.
me: Can You discern any motion under the covers of, say, a 13 year old?
gd: Of course. I am God. What is your question?
me: Can You actually observe a typical 13 year old penis?
gd: Obviously. I am God.
me: Under the covers? At night?
gd: Yes. Will you please get to the point?
me: Can You detect masturbation?
gd: Of course.
me: Do You like watching?
gd: Watching what?
me: Masturbation.
gd: I hate watching masturbation.
me: Then, why watch? Why not 'space it out?'
gd: It's My job to watch. I am God.
(Kootch just walked past me on the way to the potty at 2205. I began waving to her about 5 seconds before she appeared on her way back to her room. She responded with waves of her own.)
me: Does 'Doctor Kevorkian' ring a bell with you?
gd: No.
me: Nighty-night.
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