daily scratchpad

(3)
As the previous post suggests, I then go to the Neurologist:
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me: I am experiencing bizarre neurological symptoms.
ne: Describe them.
me: At night I vibrate.
ne: It says here, 'Also in July.' Is that correct?
me: Correct.
ne: Do you sleep in a vibrating bed?
me: No.
ne: You are not cold when you 'vibrate?'
me: No.
ne: Is the vibration frequency always the same?
me: No. It varies somewhat between approximately 8-16 cycles per second.
ne: You can count that fast?
me: No. It is my estimation.
ne: I have never heard of such a condition as you describe. Are you seeing a psychiatrist?
me: No.
ne: I am giving you a provisional diagnosis of 'Anomolous Neurological Disorder.' You can go now.
me: I have a theory: the problem is 'environmental.' (tap)
ne: Environmental?! What do you mean, exactly?
me: My hypothesis is that my symptoms are being caused by pulsed microwave energy which is being directed at me by my close neighbors.
ne: Nobody can, or would do that. Are you sure you are not seeing a psychiatrist?
me: Yes, I am not.
ne: Here is a referral to a psychiatrist. I suggest that you see him as soon as possible.
me: Is he pretty good?
ne: I can vouch for him unconditionally.
me: Is he Jewish?
ne: Absolutely! In fact, he is a direct descendent of the great Freud himself.
me: Thank you very much.
ne: You're welcome.
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