Friday, January 28, 2011
Time for the News!
(2)
Much of last week's blog was little more than 'informed speculation' of course. Well informed. Off to the fridge for beer #4 at 1601. Buzzing nicely. Back with beer #4 at 1603. Met Kootch in the hallyay on the return trip. She smiled. I slapped her on the butt. Sip. Why did the Egyptians choose the week-end to entertain the international community with their internal problems? Couldn't they have waited a few more days?
Concerning the 'new blood,' I took the 'day shift' through my 'training day routine' with the loaded .357. The night shift will soon get a similar version. It seems only fair to me that those newbies should be fully aware of the risks of the job. BTW, I also mentioned that 'microwave radiation' damages the eyes, and I requested that they stop it. Clearly they have not complied with my very reasonable request. (But little or no face rad for the last ten minutes or so.) My conscience is now clear... Better slip those kevlar underpants on, boys...
Back with beer #5 at 1632. Damn. The news is so fascinating! Watching CNN and MSNBC intermittently.
BTW, (being gassed now) I got a quickie view of Rahm Emanuel's right hand today as he was waving to his fans in some or other file video during a newscast concerning his eligibility to run for mayor of Chicago. I noticed that the middle finger of his right hand is much shorter than the other fingers (could not contact Blogger...). Apparently he cut part of it off while slicing meat with an electric saw. It occured to me at that time that poor Rahm could never use the Brown Telephone, because the right middle finger acts as the 'antenna finger.' (BT instructions state very clearly that the Brown Telephone must be held in the left hand, and that the middle finger of the right hand must be extended (alone) while 'pointed toward Heaven' (up). The Brown Telephone itself must be held to the left ear with the left hand and otherwise operated as a 'cell phone.' These 'rules' were instituted by Galileo, who invented that device.
What is the problem with a short middle finger? Wavelength: All Brown Telephones operate in a very narrow wavelength range. Middle finger length is therefore fundamental. Longer or shorter middle fingers would fail to radiate the required amount of power for interspiritual communications. Simple radio/antenna-physics, folks. Look it up. As it happens, the middle finger of my right hand is very close to the ideal length. I can therefore communicate with God, Jesus, The Holy Ghost, Lucifer... et al. with only occasional 'static problems.'
(Time for the News at 1727.)
Much of last week's blog was little more than 'informed speculation' of course. Well informed. Off to the fridge for beer #4 at 1601. Buzzing nicely. Back with beer #4 at 1603. Met Kootch in the hallyay on the return trip. She smiled. I slapped her on the butt. Sip. Why did the Egyptians choose the week-end to entertain the international community with their internal problems? Couldn't they have waited a few more days?
Concerning the 'new blood,' I took the 'day shift' through my 'training day routine' with the loaded .357. The night shift will soon get a similar version. It seems only fair to me that those newbies should be fully aware of the risks of the job. BTW, I also mentioned that 'microwave radiation' damages the eyes, and I requested that they stop it. Clearly they have not complied with my very reasonable request. (But little or no face rad for the last ten minutes or so.) My conscience is now clear... Better slip those kevlar underpants on, boys...
Back with beer #5 at 1632. Damn. The news is so fascinating! Watching CNN and MSNBC intermittently.
BTW, (being gassed now) I got a quickie view of Rahm Emanuel's right hand today as he was waving to his fans in some or other file video during a newscast concerning his eligibility to run for mayor of Chicago. I noticed that the middle finger of his right hand is much shorter than the other fingers (could not contact Blogger...). Apparently he cut part of it off while slicing meat with an electric saw. It occured to me at that time that poor Rahm could never use the Brown Telephone, because the right middle finger acts as the 'antenna finger.' (BT instructions state very clearly that the Brown Telephone must be held in the left hand, and that the middle finger of the right hand must be extended (alone) while 'pointed toward Heaven' (up). The Brown Telephone itself must be held to the left ear with the left hand and otherwise operated as a 'cell phone.' These 'rules' were instituted by Galileo, who invented that device.
What is the problem with a short middle finger? Wavelength: All Brown Telephones operate in a very narrow wavelength range. Middle finger length is therefore fundamental. Longer or shorter middle fingers would fail to radiate the required amount of power for interspiritual communications. Simple radio/antenna-physics, folks. Look it up. As it happens, the middle finger of my right hand is very close to the ideal length. I can therefore communicate with God, Jesus, The Holy Ghost, Lucifer... et al. with only occasional 'static problems.'
(Time for the News at 1727.)
