Wednesday, December 01, 2010
The Whiz-ard of Oz
(2)
And favorite books.
But first, Doctor Oz. Wow! I almost missed it yesterday on channel 7. Just as I was about to leave for the bedroom I saw something about Dr. Oz and circumcision. Huh? I quickly ordered my TiVo to record that particular show for later viewing and watched it later that evening. Amazing. I was already pretty sure that Oz was a 'pro-circ' type: The fact that he often 'talked a good sex game' even as he avoided discussing the penis had already convinced me of that, but yesterday's show was a really spectacular demonstration that my intuitions were correct. I was flabbergasted by it. (This will take some time and a couple of beers - beginning beer 4 at 1538.)
Oz begins by stating his thesis: 'Circumcision reduces the likelyhood of disease transmission during unprotected sex.' He then drafts 'Sharon' from the audience to be his demonstration 'penis.' She laughs. She is wearing a turtleneck sweater. Oz then informs us that the reason for the turtleneck is that it represents the penile foreskin, and Sharon's head represents the head of a penis. So far, so good. But then Oz makes his first mistake: he grabs her turtleneck and says, 'When you have a foreskin it looks like this, especially before erection...' (Oops, the foreskin looks like this when it has been 'skinned back,' erect or not, and the 'skinned-back' position is not the normal state.) '...and then you can pull it over...' (he pulls the turtleneck up over her head leaving only the top of her head showing - this is the normal state, erect or not) (beginning beer #5 at 1600) '...and this is what it looks like when it is fully reduced.' (Huh? 'Reduced?') Sharon stands there like an erect penis which has been skinned forward to its norml position, foreskin not quite covering the urinary opening.
Oz then grabs a container full of multi-colored 'confetti' and dumps it on the 'unprotected' part of her scalp, telling us that the confetti represents '...bacteria, viruses, and other issues' that might get into an uncircumcised penis' nooks and crannies and such. (Is the urinary opening a nook or is it a cranny? I wonder.)
Oz then directs her to brush off as much of the confetti as she can - and she makes a dutifully feeble attempt but fails - whereupon Oz points out her problem of unwanted bacteria etc. and suggests a solution. What is his solution? What is Oz's 'solution?' Soapy water?
Uh... no: 'Disassembly' (also known as 'circumcision') is the good doctor's suggestion. Apparently, if you 'disassemble it,' you don't have to wash it. Wow! Think of the time saved!
And favorite books.
But first, Doctor Oz. Wow! I almost missed it yesterday on channel 7. Just as I was about to leave for the bedroom I saw something about Dr. Oz and circumcision. Huh? I quickly ordered my TiVo to record that particular show for later viewing and watched it later that evening. Amazing. I was already pretty sure that Oz was a 'pro-circ' type: The fact that he often 'talked a good sex game' even as he avoided discussing the penis had already convinced me of that, but yesterday's show was a really spectacular demonstration that my intuitions were correct. I was flabbergasted by it. (This will take some time and a couple of beers - beginning beer 4 at 1538.)
Oz begins by stating his thesis: 'Circumcision reduces the likelyhood of disease transmission during unprotected sex.' He then drafts 'Sharon' from the audience to be his demonstration 'penis.' She laughs. She is wearing a turtleneck sweater. Oz then informs us that the reason for the turtleneck is that it represents the penile foreskin, and Sharon's head represents the head of a penis. So far, so good. But then Oz makes his first mistake: he grabs her turtleneck and says, 'When you have a foreskin it looks like this, especially before erection...' (Oops, the foreskin looks like this when it has been 'skinned back,' erect or not, and the 'skinned-back' position is not the normal state.) '...and then you can pull it over...' (he pulls the turtleneck up over her head leaving only the top of her head showing - this is the normal state, erect or not) (beginning beer #5 at 1600) '...and this is what it looks like when it is fully reduced.' (Huh? 'Reduced?') Sharon stands there like an erect penis which has been skinned forward to its norml position, foreskin not quite covering the urinary opening.
Oz then grabs a container full of multi-colored 'confetti' and dumps it on the 'unprotected' part of her scalp, telling us that the confetti represents '...bacteria, viruses, and other issues' that might get into an uncircumcised penis' nooks and crannies and such. (Is the urinary opening a nook or is it a cranny? I wonder.)
Oz then directs her to brush off as much of the confetti as she can - and she makes a dutifully feeble attempt but fails - whereupon Oz points out her problem of unwanted bacteria etc. and suggests a solution. What is his solution? What is Oz's 'solution?' Soapy water?
Uh... no: 'Disassembly' (also known as 'circumcision') is the good doctor's suggestion. Apparently, if you 'disassemble it,' you don't have to wash it. Wow! Think of the time saved!
