Friday, June 18, 2010
Good Question.
(4)
Now for tonight's 'Good Question.' Hmm. The IQ Meter currently reads 80. Argh. Outa beer. Gonna get beer #8. Sip. But unfortunately an IQ of 80 is not exactly the most auspicious time to delve into esoteric questions. Hmm. We need something simple. We need a simple question. Hmm. Thinking. Sip. Ok. Got it! Tonight's Good Question is, 'Why are you alone in possession of The Brown Telephone?' Good Question.
I answer that, The Brown Telephone has a long, convoluted history beginning with Galileo. Custody of TBT (the brown telephone) was passed down through the ages. WHTZNMS original intention was to pass TBT down from Pope to Pope: only Catholic Popes were intended to be in posession of TBT. There was only one original BT, and it ended up with me. Huh? WTF? How?! Good question.
I have been able to discover very little concerning the origin of TBT, but from what I have been able to deduce it was the result of a negotiation between God and Lucifer, the idea being that there would be two BTs such that Humanity could be simultaneously in contact with the two alternate spiritual realities. However God and Lucifer - after much negotiation - settled on Galileo as the very first owner of a single BT. As a result Galileo was presented with one BT and two telephone numbers. Galileo was supposed to present that BT to the reigning Pope, along with the two telephone numbers. However The Pope became very, very disenchanted with Galileo in those days because of his investigations of Astronomy, a totally new idea which seemed to conflict with The Bible. Because of that The Pope and Galileo were never able to connect, with the result that Galileo retained exclusive possession, and was able to 'pass down' that exclusive BT and those two exclusive telephone numbers. I eventually ended up with the BT and the two numbers. The various popes went more or less Non Compos Mentos over the next centuries while TBT passed from generation to generation from scientist to scientist, eventually ending up in my posession one night while I was drunk as a skunk and smoking Marijuana.
Now for tonight's 'Good Question.' Hmm. The IQ Meter currently reads 80. Argh. Outa beer. Gonna get beer #8. Sip. But unfortunately an IQ of 80 is not exactly the most auspicious time to delve into esoteric questions. Hmm. We need something simple. We need a simple question. Hmm. Thinking. Sip. Ok. Got it! Tonight's Good Question is, 'Why are you alone in possession of The Brown Telephone?' Good Question.
I answer that, The Brown Telephone has a long, convoluted history beginning with Galileo. Custody of TBT (the brown telephone) was passed down through the ages. WHTZNMS original intention was to pass TBT down from Pope to Pope: only Catholic Popes were intended to be in posession of TBT. There was only one original BT, and it ended up with me. Huh? WTF? How?! Good question.
I have been able to discover very little concerning the origin of TBT, but from what I have been able to deduce it was the result of a negotiation between God and Lucifer, the idea being that there would be two BTs such that Humanity could be simultaneously in contact with the two alternate spiritual realities. However God and Lucifer - after much negotiation - settled on Galileo as the very first owner of a single BT. As a result Galileo was presented with one BT and two telephone numbers. Galileo was supposed to present that BT to the reigning Pope, along with the two telephone numbers. However The Pope became very, very disenchanted with Galileo in those days because of his investigations of Astronomy, a totally new idea which seemed to conflict with The Bible. Because of that The Pope and Galileo were never able to connect, with the result that Galileo retained exclusive possession, and was able to 'pass down' that exclusive BT and those two exclusive telephone numbers. I eventually ended up with the BT and the two numbers. The various popes went more or less Non Compos Mentos over the next centuries while TBT passed from generation to generation from scientist to scientist, eventually ending up in my posession one night while I was drunk as a skunk and smoking Marijuana.
