Thursday, February 18, 2010
Pussy.
(6)
It dawned on me during my conversation with Jesus that he needed to put into the nearest port in order to recuperate from what must have been 'excessive reincarnation.' Jesus was, at the time, in the constellation Centauri and I therefore steered him toward Lucifer's domain on an Earth-sized planet orbiting an ancient red dwarf star at about 33 million miles. Jesus dialed in the coordinates; the spacecraft responded, with the result that Jesus will arrive near Hell during this Year of Our Lord, 2010. Eheh. Whoa! I needed to contact Lucifer! No way could I allow my friend Jesus to arrive in the vicinity of Hell unannounced! I contacted Lucifer on the Brown Telephone:
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lu: Hello?
me: Jesus will arrive in orbit around December of this year.
lu: Ha, ha.
me: This is not a joke. I am serious.
lu: This presents complications. Thank you for advising me.
me He fell afoul of the laws of physics.
lu: Too fast. Been there, done that.
me: Correct.
lu: Be advised that we will not tolerate any attempt by Jesus to broadcast our galactic location.
me: I understand and will pass that information on to Jesus.
lu: Excellent. Advise Jesus, furthermore, that we have a sophisticated system of defense.
me: I will.
lu: So that we will have something of a 'head start' concerning what to expect from Jesus' most fervent needs, wants, and desires after he arrives in Hell, we wonder. Can you enlighten us?
me: Pussy.
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It dawned on me during my conversation with Jesus that he needed to put into the nearest port in order to recuperate from what must have been 'excessive reincarnation.' Jesus was, at the time, in the constellation Centauri and I therefore steered him toward Lucifer's domain on an Earth-sized planet orbiting an ancient red dwarf star at about 33 million miles. Jesus dialed in the coordinates; the spacecraft responded, with the result that Jesus will arrive near Hell during this Year of Our Lord, 2010. Eheh. Whoa! I needed to contact Lucifer! No way could I allow my friend Jesus to arrive in the vicinity of Hell unannounced! I contacted Lucifer on the Brown Telephone:
----------
lu: Hello?
me: Jesus will arrive in orbit around December of this year.
lu: Ha, ha.
me: This is not a joke. I am serious.
lu: This presents complications. Thank you for advising me.
me He fell afoul of the laws of physics.
lu: Too fast. Been there, done that.
me: Correct.
lu: Be advised that we will not tolerate any attempt by Jesus to broadcast our galactic location.
me: I understand and will pass that information on to Jesus.
lu: Excellent. Advise Jesus, furthermore, that we have a sophisticated system of defense.
me: I will.
lu: So that we will have something of a 'head start' concerning what to expect from Jesus' most fervent needs, wants, and desires after he arrives in Hell, we wonder. Can you enlighten us?
me: Pussy.
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