Saturday, February 27, 2010
Forewarned is Foreskinned
(5)
Time for a Green Onion Article. Here is the situation. A reporter from a New York City newspaper, a certain Shawn O'Malley, decided to investigate the article cited in the previous post to the effect that the American Academy of Pediatrics was interested in cutting up hot dogs for the sake of young children. O'Malley, a circumcised American-Irishman was struck by the bizarre nature of the report given that the AAP also favored universal infant circumcision. Could there be some connection? Did the AAP have an unconcious circumcision fetish? He decided to investigate, and toward that end he secured an on-camera interview with the head (eheh) of the AAP, a certain Judith Palfrey. His secret mission: to expose the AAP plot to mutilate America. His secret mantra: 'Forewarned is foreskinned.' The unsuspecting Doctor Palfrey agreed to the interview intent on pressing her agenda. The interview follows.
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so: Thank you for agreeing to this interview.
jp: My pleasure.
so: To cut right to the head of this, I was fascinated by the recent AAP discovery that young children were choking on hot dogs and that the AAP was concerned.
jp: Wieners.
so: Our readers called in by the hundreds, fearful that their young children might choke to death while eating hot...
jp: (interrupting) Wieners.
so: ...dogs, and wondering exactly how small the hot...
jp: (interrupting) Wieners.
so: ... wieners should be cut. Can you enlighten us? Quarter inch squares?
jp: Eight inch squares. Small enough for a toothless child. And that's 'wieners.' And furthermore parents should be trained in the heimlick maneuver before administered hot... wieners to their defenseless children. That is the official AAP position.
so: Thank you very much for this candid interview.
jp: Is that all?!
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Time for a Green Onion Article. Here is the situation. A reporter from a New York City newspaper, a certain Shawn O'Malley, decided to investigate the article cited in the previous post to the effect that the American Academy of Pediatrics was interested in cutting up hot dogs for the sake of young children. O'Malley, a circumcised American-Irishman was struck by the bizarre nature of the report given that the AAP also favored universal infant circumcision. Could there be some connection? Did the AAP have an unconcious circumcision fetish? He decided to investigate, and toward that end he secured an on-camera interview with the head (eheh) of the AAP, a certain Judith Palfrey. His secret mission: to expose the AAP plot to mutilate America. His secret mantra: 'Forewarned is foreskinned.' The unsuspecting Doctor Palfrey agreed to the interview intent on pressing her agenda. The interview follows.
----------
so: Thank you for agreeing to this interview.
jp: My pleasure.
so: To cut right to the head of this, I was fascinated by the recent AAP discovery that young children were choking on hot dogs and that the AAP was concerned.
jp: Wieners.
so: Our readers called in by the hundreds, fearful that their young children might choke to death while eating hot...
jp: (interrupting) Wieners.
so: ...dogs, and wondering exactly how small the hot...
jp: (interrupting) Wieners.
so: ... wieners should be cut. Can you enlighten us? Quarter inch squares?
jp: Eight inch squares. Small enough for a toothless child. And that's 'wieners.' And furthermore parents should be trained in the heimlick maneuver before administered hot... wieners to their defenseless children. That is the official AAP position.
so: Thank you very much for this candid interview.
jp: Is that all?!
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