Friday, January 15, 2010
Never Forget That.
(4)
I need to talk to God.
Bear with me.
I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. The Jewish god WHTZSNM answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Haiti.
gd: Huh?
me: Hispanola.
gd: Is this some kinda joke?
me: Yes! You got it! I am impressed.
gd: Got what?!
me: Earth calling. Hello? Anybody there?
gd: Identify. Who are you? Say your NGC number.
me: NGC Zero.
gd: No such number.
me: I'm calling from Earth, located in one of the spiral arms of NGC Zero. Pat Robertson claims that the recent earthquake in Haiti was retribution for an old slave uprising supposedly aided by Your nemesis, The Devil.
gd: Interesting. I would like to meet you and learn more. Where are you?
me: NGC Zero.
gd: No such location. You are imaginary. (hangs up)
----------
Not very funny, is it. This realization prompted me to down my last sip of beer and pour a shot of Canadian Mist over ice cubes, with added Diet Pepsi. Yum. Two 'Natural's' left for next week.
And it is only 1932L! OMG!
I am sipping the glass of booze as I write this at 1934L. Buzzing, remembering (tap) my original intention. What was that? Education. This blog is not so much a complaint as an elucidation. I pass on my coping strategies to you fucking idiots, and you lap it up as well you should.
I am Teacher. You are Student.
Never forget that.
I need to talk to God.
Bear with me.
I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. The Jewish god WHTZSNM answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Haiti.
gd: Huh?
me: Hispanola.
gd: Is this some kinda joke?
me: Yes! You got it! I am impressed.
gd: Got what?!
me: Earth calling. Hello? Anybody there?
gd: Identify. Who are you? Say your NGC number.
me: NGC Zero.
gd: No such number.
me: I'm calling from Earth, located in one of the spiral arms of NGC Zero. Pat Robertson claims that the recent earthquake in Haiti was retribution for an old slave uprising supposedly aided by Your nemesis, The Devil.
gd: Interesting. I would like to meet you and learn more. Where are you?
me: NGC Zero.
gd: No such location. You are imaginary. (hangs up)
----------
Not very funny, is it. This realization prompted me to down my last sip of beer and pour a shot of Canadian Mist over ice cubes, with added Diet Pepsi. Yum. Two 'Natural's' left for next week.
And it is only 1932L! OMG!
I am sipping the glass of booze as I write this at 1934L. Buzzing, remembering (tap) my original intention. What was that? Education. This blog is not so much a complaint as an elucidation. I pass on my coping strategies to you fucking idiots, and you lap it up as well you should.
I am Teacher. You are Student.
Never forget that.
