Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Meaning of Christmas
(1)
I'm a day late with this week's entries mostly because at blog time yesterday I felt sleep-deprived (due to the usual night time microwave radiation). Maybe it's just as well, since yesterday was Christmas day and I was intending to do a blurb on the origin of Christmas. So here it is:
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God gets bored. Needs something to play with. Creates universe in six days. Tired. Rests. Whew. On the eighth day god begins to play with his new toy. Begins his spying mission on man, whom god had created 'in his own image.' Eheh. God's objective: self-discovery. God's theory was that since man had been created 'in the image of god,' man was a very useful tool for self-discovery. God could learn quite a lot about himself simply by observing man! What a great idea! It was the first scientific experiment. His creations seemed to be happy in the garden of eden. Boringly happy.
After weeks of observation had established a kind of 'base line' against which to measure deviancy - it was a boring time for god, who needed lots of drama back in those days... thirteen weeks of watching two happy people exploring a beautiful garden... barf... enough with that crap - god created two new trees. God called the first tree, 'The Tree of Knowlege.' He called the second tree, 'The Tree of Life.' He placed both trees right in the center of the garden. It was a trap. Then he spoke to his newly created 'children' thus: 'All the fruit in the garden is yours, except for the fruit of these two trees. Do not eat the fruit of these two trees or I will fuck you up beyond your wildest imaginations.'
They ate the fruit of the tree of knowlege anyway, and learned a lot in the process. God was infuriated by their disobedience and sentenced them to suffering and death. God furthermore sentenced all their descendents to suffering and death. He enjoyed watching all that suffering and death for the next 4000 years, eventually becoming bored yet again. He eventually decided to rescue some of them - not too many. But he needed payment in the form of blood. Divine blood. No other blood would do. So he created a 'son' inside a virgin. The son was divine. He arranged for the 'son' to experience a violent, bloody death. That satisfied some of his anger, with the result that a select few will sit next to him in heaven, eventually, while the rest will burn in eternal fire forever while god and his group watches the proceedings constantly.
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Sounds like fun. I can hardly wait.
I'm a day late with this week's entries mostly because at blog time yesterday I felt sleep-deprived (due to the usual night time microwave radiation). Maybe it's just as well, since yesterday was Christmas day and I was intending to do a blurb on the origin of Christmas. So here it is:
----------
God gets bored. Needs something to play with. Creates universe in six days. Tired. Rests. Whew. On the eighth day god begins to play with his new toy. Begins his spying mission on man, whom god had created 'in his own image.' Eheh. God's objective: self-discovery. God's theory was that since man had been created 'in the image of god,' man was a very useful tool for self-discovery. God could learn quite a lot about himself simply by observing man! What a great idea! It was the first scientific experiment. His creations seemed to be happy in the garden of eden. Boringly happy.
After weeks of observation had established a kind of 'base line' against which to measure deviancy - it was a boring time for god, who needed lots of drama back in those days... thirteen weeks of watching two happy people exploring a beautiful garden... barf... enough with that crap - god created two new trees. God called the first tree, 'The Tree of Knowlege.' He called the second tree, 'The Tree of Life.' He placed both trees right in the center of the garden. It was a trap. Then he spoke to his newly created 'children' thus: 'All the fruit in the garden is yours, except for the fruit of these two trees. Do not eat the fruit of these two trees or I will fuck you up beyond your wildest imaginations.'
They ate the fruit of the tree of knowlege anyway, and learned a lot in the process. God was infuriated by their disobedience and sentenced them to suffering and death. God furthermore sentenced all their descendents to suffering and death. He enjoyed watching all that suffering and death for the next 4000 years, eventually becoming bored yet again. He eventually decided to rescue some of them - not too many. But he needed payment in the form of blood. Divine blood. No other blood would do. So he created a 'son' inside a virgin. The son was divine. He arranged for the 'son' to experience a violent, bloody death. That satisfied some of his anger, with the result that a select few will sit next to him in heaven, eventually, while the rest will burn in eternal fire forever while god and his group watches the proceedings constantly.
----------
Sounds like fun. I can hardly wait.
