daily scratchpad

(2)
Well, folks, you can imagine panic that phone call generated. I called Lucifer immediately:
----------
lu: Hello?
me: I am in deep doo-doo. I need help.
lu: At your service. What's the problem?
me: I am being blackmailed by the Blessed Virgin Mary!
lu: Now there's a twist...
me: I'm serious. I just got off the phone with Jesus. He spilled the beans to His Mother. I don't know what to do!
lu: Are you referring to the 'peed panty' thing?
me: Yes. How did you know?
lu: I have my sources. What does She want?
me: Panties.
lu: Figures.
me: There is no way I can supply Her with panties. She threatened to use her power against me. What does she mean by that?
lu: You do not want to know the answer to that question.
me: Help me!
lu: Calm down. We can do this. Relax. Take a deep breath. Think 'loophole.'
me: Einstein's Loophole in the Universe? It's two way?
lu: Exactly. We even do same day shipping.
me: Wow! Hell has panties?
lu: Billions and billions. I need size, quantity, color, and style.
me: Size 6, quantity seven. For starters.
lu: Your order has been entered and will be shipped within the hour. Credit Card Number?
----------