Tuesday, November 03, 2009
CLICK!
(6)
(My guess is that if anybody saw this coming it was Al Roker. You rock, Al!)
Last music for tonight is Mozart 17-3. Glorious. Notice the woman violinist staring smilingly at the handsome young pianist. Somebody's gonna get fucked tonight! I have this series on video tape. I want to upload it to YouTube, but don't know how to do it. Yet.
Which brings us to the (CLICK) in the previous post. The explanation is a bit complex: As many of you already know I am a Recovered Catholic. Fully recovered. It was the work of a lifetime and it is my proudest personal achievement. As a result, my brain developed an automatic 'Jesus switch.' It clicks into action whenever I think about any stuff which might offend Jesus. It is automatic and serves to prevent Jesus from reading my mind during 'embarrassing moments' if necessary. For example, whenever I am about to pee in my pants I say (privately) to Jesus something like, 'Better get out of my underpants before I drown your dumb ass! Fair warning!' The Jesus Swith always CLICKs in during such scenerios, saving me from possible embarrassment in the afterlife (if any). It never fails me.
And by the way, I thought I'd check in with Jesus just now. 'How's The Restoration going?' I dialed 123 on the brown telephone:
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js: Quite well. Thank you for your interest. And I absolutely loved those recent downloads! Glorious!
me: You have excellent taste.
js: I know, I know. You too. How may I help you?
me: You have already answered my question.
js: I know. I know. May I enquire of your knowlege concerning acoustical phenomenon?
me: Of course. Shoot.
js: I periodically get sudden auditory 'blank events,' followed by ringing in the ears. Any idea what might be the cause of this? There! It just happened again! Again! Again...
me: (Click)
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(My guess is that if anybody saw this coming it was Al Roker. You rock, Al!)
Last music for tonight is Mozart 17-3. Glorious. Notice the woman violinist staring smilingly at the handsome young pianist. Somebody's gonna get fucked tonight! I have this series on video tape. I want to upload it to YouTube, but don't know how to do it. Yet.
Which brings us to the (CLICK) in the previous post. The explanation is a bit complex: As many of you already know I am a Recovered Catholic. Fully recovered. It was the work of a lifetime and it is my proudest personal achievement. As a result, my brain developed an automatic 'Jesus switch.' It clicks into action whenever I think about any stuff which might offend Jesus. It is automatic and serves to prevent Jesus from reading my mind during 'embarrassing moments' if necessary. For example, whenever I am about to pee in my pants I say (privately) to Jesus something like, 'Better get out of my underpants before I drown your dumb ass! Fair warning!' The Jesus Swith always CLICKs in during such scenerios, saving me from possible embarrassment in the afterlife (if any). It never fails me.
And by the way, I thought I'd check in with Jesus just now. 'How's The Restoration going?' I dialed 123 on the brown telephone:
----------
js: Quite well. Thank you for your interest. And I absolutely loved those recent downloads! Glorious!
me: You have excellent taste.
js: I know, I know. You too. How may I help you?
me: You have already answered my question.
js: I know. I know. May I enquire of your knowlege concerning acoustical phenomenon?
me: Of course. Shoot.
js: I periodically get sudden auditory 'blank events,' followed by ringing in the ears. Any idea what might be the cause of this? There! It just happened again! Again! Again...
me: (Click)
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