Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Naughty Me!
(2)
And so we end 'the Melissa affair.' Her letter made no mention of the details of 'our recent visit,' so I will keep my recorded version in self defense. (I wish you well too, Melissa. Sayonada.)
It will be a while before I gather the courage to approach Kaiser concerning a replacement for Melissa.
And, by the way, Melissa was a 'test' of sorts: I deliberately chose Melissa some months ago, but refrained from seeing her during those months. I wanted the local JF Forces to 'indoctrinate' Melissa as much as possible before we met for the first time. The idea was to meet somebody who was totally sold on the local Kaiser JF propaganda. Naughty me. And the result was astonishing!
At our first meeting Melissa asked me about my previous job experience. Huh? Then she asked me whether I ever 'heard things that were not there,' or 'saw things that were not there.' I laughed and replied in the negative: 'I'm perfectly sane, Doc.' She seemed satisfied with my answer, but 'charged' me with 'substance abuse' when I told her that I wrote a blog once a week while drinking a 12-pack of 3.2 beer. She 'referred' me to the appropriate Kaiser unit. I thereby became a 'delusional drunk' so far as Kaiser was concerned. Naughty me.
She also 'referred' me to the Kaiser Mental Clinic. Whoa! I laughed: 'Those folks and I don't get along, Doc!' 'Maybe you can blog with them,' she replied.
She ended the first meeting by presenting me with a list of physical and mental problems Kaiser had discovered about me. It was the most spectacular document (about me) that I had ever seen! Wow! I was impressed. I was one fucked-up SOB! I told her during an earlier part of the interview that, 'You are very straightforward and direct, Doc. We're gonna get along just fine.' I began to think in terms of 'magnificient Melissa.'
True, she was a 'take charge' type of woman. I found in her a refreshing change from my previous PCP, who seemed to be a bit 'wishy-washy' and evasive. Melissa eventually became too much of a 'dominatrix,' however, and had to be 'fired.' I did it gently as we walked out of the examining room: I put my hand lightly on her sholder and whispered, 'You're fired, Doc.'
And so we end 'the Melissa affair.' Her letter made no mention of the details of 'our recent visit,' so I will keep my recorded version in self defense. (I wish you well too, Melissa. Sayonada.)
It will be a while before I gather the courage to approach Kaiser concerning a replacement for Melissa.
And, by the way, Melissa was a 'test' of sorts: I deliberately chose Melissa some months ago, but refrained from seeing her during those months. I wanted the local JF Forces to 'indoctrinate' Melissa as much as possible before we met for the first time. The idea was to meet somebody who was totally sold on the local Kaiser JF propaganda. Naughty me. And the result was astonishing!
At our first meeting Melissa asked me about my previous job experience. Huh? Then she asked me whether I ever 'heard things that were not there,' or 'saw things that were not there.' I laughed and replied in the negative: 'I'm perfectly sane, Doc.' She seemed satisfied with my answer, but 'charged' me with 'substance abuse' when I told her that I wrote a blog once a week while drinking a 12-pack of 3.2 beer. She 'referred' me to the appropriate Kaiser unit. I thereby became a 'delusional drunk' so far as Kaiser was concerned. Naughty me.
She also 'referred' me to the Kaiser Mental Clinic. Whoa! I laughed: 'Those folks and I don't get along, Doc!' 'Maybe you can blog with them,' she replied.
She ended the first meeting by presenting me with a list of physical and mental problems Kaiser had discovered about me. It was the most spectacular document (about me) that I had ever seen! Wow! I was impressed. I was one fucked-up SOB! I told her during an earlier part of the interview that, 'You are very straightforward and direct, Doc. We're gonna get along just fine.' I began to think in terms of 'magnificient Melissa.'
True, she was a 'take charge' type of woman. I found in her a refreshing change from my previous PCP, who seemed to be a bit 'wishy-washy' and evasive. Melissa eventually became too much of a 'dominatrix,' however, and had to be 'fired.' I did it gently as we walked out of the examining room: I put my hand lightly on her sholder and whispered, 'You're fired, Doc.'
