Thursday, May 14, 2009
Silly Silly Me
(3)
The transcripts are not included with the NTSB animation, but would give a clearer picture of what really happened. I'm sure that justice in this case will eventually be served: the occupant of the house and all the passengers of flight 3407 will go to Heaven. Conversely, the crew of flight 3407 - including the autopilot - will go all to Hell. Justice will be served in the afterlife.
(Yes, I am aware that I am being flippant here, making a joke out of what is actually a very tragic situation. Sorry. Sue me.)
Which brings us to the curious case of an autopilot which has been sentenced to Hell - the very first such occurence in all of history. I bring this matter to your attention only because I have access to relevant information denied the rest of you: I have in my possession the Brown Telephone which is a direct connection to gods and devils everywhere in the Universe. (There is only one such telephone in existence and it belongs to me. It is not for sale.) I determined to track that autopilot. Where did it end up? My first inclination was to contact God. I dialed 666 on the brown telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: I'm wondering whether any semi-conductor beings entered Heaven recently.
gd: Semi what?
me: Conductor. Silicon-based intelligence.
gd: Silly what?
me: Silicon. The sibling of Carbon.
gd: Silly silly drunk! Call me again when you're sober. (hangs up)
----------
The transcripts are not included with the NTSB animation, but would give a clearer picture of what really happened. I'm sure that justice in this case will eventually be served: the occupant of the house and all the passengers of flight 3407 will go to Heaven. Conversely, the crew of flight 3407 - including the autopilot - will go all to Hell. Justice will be served in the afterlife.
(Yes, I am aware that I am being flippant here, making a joke out of what is actually a very tragic situation. Sorry. Sue me.)
Which brings us to the curious case of an autopilot which has been sentenced to Hell - the very first such occurence in all of history. I bring this matter to your attention only because I have access to relevant information denied the rest of you: I have in my possession the Brown Telephone which is a direct connection to gods and devils everywhere in the Universe. (There is only one such telephone in existence and it belongs to me. It is not for sale.) I determined to track that autopilot. Where did it end up? My first inclination was to contact God. I dialed 666 on the brown telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: I'm wondering whether any semi-conductor beings entered Heaven recently.
gd: Semi what?
me: Conductor. Silicon-based intelligence.
gd: Silly what?
me: Silicon. The sibling of Carbon.
gd: Silly silly drunk! Call me again when you're sober. (hangs up)
----------
