Friday, March 13, 2009
Bernie Maddoff
(5)
Fun news today is that Bernie Maddoff has gone to jail. This fact has served to unify a huge international population including Americans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Democrats, Republicans, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Catholics, Italians, Irish, French, Jews, Germans, Russians, Mexicans, Canadians, Jews, Australians, Pakistanis, Indians, Jews, Japanese, Chinese, British, Spanish, Vietnamese, Jews, Brazilians, Jews, Argentinians, South Africans, Israelis, Jews, Egyptians, Syrians, Zimbabians, Afghanistanians, Chileans, Bolivians, Jews, rapists, detectives, police officers, Jews, and Politicians. I could go on and on, of course, and maybe I will. Later.
But I find myself at the present moment longing to contact the Jewish God WHTZSNM yet one more time. The subject is a recent stunning revelation on national TV titled, 'Great Sex God's Way.' Seems a local preacher has been able to significantly increase market share with the quoted theme. I wondered what God's take on the matter might be. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Me again. Can You tell me what You might mean by the phrase, 'great sex?'
gd: Why do you ask?
me: A contemporary preacher has begun preaching the idea that You might like sex.
gd: Bullshit. Do you have a name for me?
me: Not at the moment.
gd: You connected to the internet at the moment?
me: Yes...
gd: Do a Google Search on 'great sex.'
me: Done.
gd: Is the bastard's name, Jerry Lawson?
me: Maybe, maybe not. You tell me.
gd: Thank you for the information. I think we might be able to work together in the future.
me: You are 'computer literate!?'
gd: Call me next week. (hangs up)
Fun news today is that Bernie Maddoff has gone to jail. This fact has served to unify a huge international population including Americans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Democrats, Republicans, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Catholics, Italians, Irish, French, Jews, Germans, Russians, Mexicans, Canadians, Jews, Australians, Pakistanis, Indians, Jews, Japanese, Chinese, British, Spanish, Vietnamese, Jews, Brazilians, Jews, Argentinians, South Africans, Israelis, Jews, Egyptians, Syrians, Zimbabians, Afghanistanians, Chileans, Bolivians, Jews, rapists, detectives, police officers, Jews, and Politicians. I could go on and on, of course, and maybe I will. Later.
But I find myself at the present moment longing to contact the Jewish God WHTZSNM yet one more time. The subject is a recent stunning revelation on national TV titled, 'Great Sex God's Way.' Seems a local preacher has been able to significantly increase market share with the quoted theme. I wondered what God's take on the matter might be. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Me again. Can You tell me what You might mean by the phrase, 'great sex?'
gd: Why do you ask?
me: A contemporary preacher has begun preaching the idea that You might like sex.
gd: Bullshit. Do you have a name for me?
me: Not at the moment.
gd: You connected to the internet at the moment?
me: Yes...
gd: Do a Google Search on 'great sex.'
me: Done.
gd: Is the bastard's name, Jerry Lawson?
me: Maybe, maybe not. You tell me.
gd: Thank you for the information. I think we might be able to work together in the future.
me: You are 'computer literate!?'
gd: Call me next week. (hangs up)
