Friday, February 27, 2009
I Hate Lubricants
(2)
I just noticed that last week I had neglected to contact the Jewish god WHTZSNM concerning Middle East oil and the distribution thereof. Might as well get that job out of the way now. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
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gd: Hello?
me: Missed again, Idiot.
gd: I'll get you eventually. Count on it.
me: I'm sure. You busy at the moment?
gd: No more than usual. Got some news for Me?
me: Oil. It's a big deal on Earth nowadays.
gd: I've noticed. What else is new?
me: We are curious about why You gave all that oil to the Muslims.
gd: Muslims?
me: Enemies of the Jews. They surround The Promised Land and are threatening to outfuck The Chosen People.
gd: Oil? You mean olive oil? I hate olive oil. I selected The Land of Israel after careful consideration based on Lucifer's maps of the region showing huge amounts of oil except in Israel.
me: Oil is a lubricant.
gd: No koshitzski. I hate lubricants.
me: I take it You are referring to the efficacy of lubrication vis masturbation?
gd: Exactly. I hate it, especially for My Chosen People. I hate to watch my Chosen People masturbate.
me: Then don't watch!
gd: I have to watch. It's My job. And they are My Chosen People.
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I just noticed that last week I had neglected to contact the Jewish god WHTZSNM concerning Middle East oil and the distribution thereof. Might as well get that job out of the way now. I dialed 666 on the Brown Telephone and extended the antenna. God answered immediately:
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Missed again, Idiot.
gd: I'll get you eventually. Count on it.
me: I'm sure. You busy at the moment?
gd: No more than usual. Got some news for Me?
me: Oil. It's a big deal on Earth nowadays.
gd: I've noticed. What else is new?
me: We are curious about why You gave all that oil to the Muslims.
gd: Muslims?
me: Enemies of the Jews. They surround The Promised Land and are threatening to outfuck The Chosen People.
gd: Oil? You mean olive oil? I hate olive oil. I selected The Land of Israel after careful consideration based on Lucifer's maps of the region showing huge amounts of oil except in Israel.
me: Oil is a lubricant.
gd: No koshitzski. I hate lubricants.
me: I take it You are referring to the efficacy of lubrication vis masturbation?
gd: Exactly. I hate it, especially for My Chosen People. I hate to watch my Chosen People masturbate.
me: Then don't watch!
gd: I have to watch. It's My job. And they are My Chosen People.
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