daily scratchpad

(3)
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me: I am referring to petro-chemicals, an extremely valuable commodity nowadays; not olive oil.
gd: Petro-what?
me: Chemicals.
gd: If you continue with this gibberish I will hang up.
me: Ever heard of Personal Lubricants?
gd: You have just crossed the line with me! I hereby damn you irrevocably to Hell forever! (hangs up)
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Lucky me! In festive mood I decided to call Lucifer. Lucifer answered immediately:
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lu: Hello?
me: I've been damned to Hell forever.
lu: Glorious! How did you manage it!?
me: Asked Him about 'personal lubricants.'
lu: What a genius you are! Congratulations! You'll be pleased to know that the average temperature here is 78 degrees F.
me: Pants-peeing weather!
lu: Indeed it is. Tell me: How did you manage it?
me: Asked Him about 'personal lubricants.'
lu: Ooooooo... Brilliant!!! May I tell your friends?
me: Please limit that information to Omar, Albert, Ludwig, and Amadeus. I dont want to start a frenzy.
lu: Wise decision. I will request full secrecy, but you know Omar and Amadeus: They can be children sometimes...
me: No problem. Leaks are inevitable. Give them all my regards.
lu: Done. By the way, I talked to Jesus recently. Wants you to give Him a call.
me: Will do. Sayorara!
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