Friday, January 23, 2009
Jew Watch
(1)
Do you also fear Jews? (Wait... don't answer yet. Think about it for a while...)
TgIF, and I am beginning my weekly blog posts after one 3.2 beer. But strange things are happening: My mind seems to be frozen at the moment. Very strange. Let me explain: I hit the sack around 9PM last night, knowing that I would face several hours of radiation torture which would keep me from sleeping. I figured I might be able to salvage six hours of sleep from an expected disasterous night, but I was wrong. I had even taken the precaution of eating a huge helping of a salty snack food (Doritos Cool Ranch), the idea being to limit urine production during the night, allowing me more sleep time before being awakened by bladder signals. It worked, more or less. I got about 4 hours of sleep before waking up to pee. I have learned not to move immediately after waking, but to instead do an 'audit of the situation:' 'I'm awake. Don't move! Gas? Radiation?' I lay there, motionless for several minutes, at least, sampling the 'milieu.' All quiet on the western front. They don't know yet that I am awake! I enjoy the lack of gas and radiation, but my bladder signals are becoming more urgent and my sholder nerves are telling me that it is time to turn over. I cave in, and roll over onto my back. There is a thump above me, the standard signal that they have detected movement. I get up and pee in the pee pot next to the bed. Near the end of the process I fart. There is another thump above me in response. For the ten thousandth time they have communicated to me the message: 'We see you and we hear you.' It is 0230 AM and I have slept for about 4 hours.
I yawn, crawl back into bed and prepare for the worst. Within a minute or two I can feel the radiation from below: pricking sensations all over my left arm, face, and neck. Itching sensations on the right side of my face and scalp. They are hitting me from above and below. Sleep will be impossible until they stop. This could go on for as long as four hours. I endure the situation for an hour and a half, then I get out of bed at 0400 and begin watching tv in the LR. My plan is to go back to sleep after Kootch leaves at 0700. I finish watching The Ascent of Money on my TiVo. (It is a revelation and I recommend it. You can find it on PBS.)
Later I return to the BR and fire up my computer. My intention is to prepare for 'Blog Night' (tonight). I review several of the possible candidates and reject a couple of them, then I return to the most astonishing of them all, Jew watch.
Do you also fear Jews? (Wait... don't answer yet. Think about it for a while...)
TgIF, and I am beginning my weekly blog posts after one 3.2 beer. But strange things are happening: My mind seems to be frozen at the moment. Very strange. Let me explain: I hit the sack around 9PM last night, knowing that I would face several hours of radiation torture which would keep me from sleeping. I figured I might be able to salvage six hours of sleep from an expected disasterous night, but I was wrong. I had even taken the precaution of eating a huge helping of a salty snack food (Doritos Cool Ranch), the idea being to limit urine production during the night, allowing me more sleep time before being awakened by bladder signals. It worked, more or less. I got about 4 hours of sleep before waking up to pee. I have learned not to move immediately after waking, but to instead do an 'audit of the situation:' 'I'm awake. Don't move! Gas? Radiation?' I lay there, motionless for several minutes, at least, sampling the 'milieu.' All quiet on the western front. They don't know yet that I am awake! I enjoy the lack of gas and radiation, but my bladder signals are becoming more urgent and my sholder nerves are telling me that it is time to turn over. I cave in, and roll over onto my back. There is a thump above me, the standard signal that they have detected movement. I get up and pee in the pee pot next to the bed. Near the end of the process I fart. There is another thump above me in response. For the ten thousandth time they have communicated to me the message: 'We see you and we hear you.' It is 0230 AM and I have slept for about 4 hours.
I yawn, crawl back into bed and prepare for the worst. Within a minute or two I can feel the radiation from below: pricking sensations all over my left arm, face, and neck. Itching sensations on the right side of my face and scalp. They are hitting me from above and below. Sleep will be impossible until they stop. This could go on for as long as four hours. I endure the situation for an hour and a half, then I get out of bed at 0400 and begin watching tv in the LR. My plan is to go back to sleep after Kootch leaves at 0700. I finish watching The Ascent of Money on my TiVo. (It is a revelation and I recommend it. You can find it on PBS.)
Later I return to the BR and fire up my computer. My intention is to prepare for 'Blog Night' (tonight). I review several of the possible candidates and reject a couple of them, then I return to the most astonishing of them all, Jew watch.
