Friday, December 12, 2008
Oscillation Leads to Celebration
(3)
Imagine me in a hospital or nursing home unable to attend to my urinary needs. I pee at inconvenient times. Authorities have decided to take control. They instigate the procedure outlined in the video in (2) below. It works, more or less. Satisfied with the result, the nurse (female, thank god) interviews me. She is very good looking.
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nu: I am here to evaluate. We are interested in your take on the effectiveness of our most recent intervention. Will you agree to take this survey?
me: I will.
nu: Thank you. What is your overall impression of our performance?
me: Fair.
nu: Only fair? How can we improve our procedure?
me: I think you should begin with less equipment. This would result in savings.
nu: Noted. What else? What equipment should we eliminate?
me: The entire 'condom-tube' scenerio. It's obscene.
nu: That is your opinion.
me: Granted...
nu: Anything else?
me: Your procedure left out an important step, that of 'skinning back the penis.'
nu: Noted. Anything else?
me: Skinning it forward again.
nu: Noted.
me: And I would add, from a personal point of view, that it would not be a bad idea if the attending nurse repeated the procedure cyclically, once a week or so, depending on the age of the patient. Younger patients would need that procedure done more often.
nu: Do you mean, 'skin back, skin forward?'
me: At least once a week. Ideally, the nurse should oscillate the uncircumcised penis on those occasions, skinning it forward and back partially until the patient says, 'Enough!' Or 'Oh my god!' In the case of patients who are awake, the entire procedure could take less than five minutes. Older patients might require more time.
nu: Thank you for your input.
Imagine me in a hospital or nursing home unable to attend to my urinary needs. I pee at inconvenient times. Authorities have decided to take control. They instigate the procedure outlined in the video in (2) below. It works, more or less. Satisfied with the result, the nurse (female, thank god) interviews me. She is very good looking.
----------
nu: I am here to evaluate. We are interested in your take on the effectiveness of our most recent intervention. Will you agree to take this survey?
me: I will.
nu: Thank you. What is your overall impression of our performance?
me: Fair.
nu: Only fair? How can we improve our procedure?
me: I think you should begin with less equipment. This would result in savings.
nu: Noted. What else? What equipment should we eliminate?
me: The entire 'condom-tube' scenerio. It's obscene.
nu: That is your opinion.
me: Granted...
nu: Anything else?
me: Your procedure left out an important step, that of 'skinning back the penis.'
nu: Noted. Anything else?
me: Skinning it forward again.
nu: Noted.
me: And I would add, from a personal point of view, that it would not be a bad idea if the attending nurse repeated the procedure cyclically, once a week or so, depending on the age of the patient. Younger patients would need that procedure done more often.
nu: Do you mean, 'skin back, skin forward?'
me: At least once a week. Ideally, the nurse should oscillate the uncircumcised penis on those occasions, skinning it forward and back partially until the patient says, 'Enough!' Or 'Oh my god!' In the case of patients who are awake, the entire procedure could take less than five minutes. Older patients might require more time.
nu: Thank you for your input.
