Tuesday, April 22, 2008
You're Drunk
(2)
I just called Kaiser Permante about some information they recently requested (in a letter). I dislike using the telephone, and I especially dislike talking to a machine on the telephone, but in my inebriated condition I had a bit of fun doing it. It seemed to me, therefore, that here was an auspicious time to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM on the brown telephone. Earth Day was my excuse for calling. I extended the antenna and punched in 666. God answered immediately.
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gd: Hello?
me: Me again.
gd: (silence)
me: Today is Earth Day.
gd: Earth?
me: We are beginning to realize our responsibilities in regards to our home planet.
gd: Standby... I'm looking you up... be a minute or two...
me: NGC number is zero, if that helps.
gd: Earth! Of course!
me: Right next door.
gd: Well, not exactly.
me: By the way, Jesus' signal was below the static level last time I checked. Are You having the same problem?
gd: Yes. I think it's temporary.
me: Made any progress, hadronwise?
gd: Get off this subject or I will terminate this call.
me: Forgive me, but I am really in the mood for some esoteric information.
gd: You're drunk.
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I just called Kaiser Permante about some information they recently requested (in a letter). I dislike using the telephone, and I especially dislike talking to a machine on the telephone, but in my inebriated condition I had a bit of fun doing it. It seemed to me, therefore, that here was an auspicious time to call the Jewish god WHTZSNM on the brown telephone. Earth Day was my excuse for calling. I extended the antenna and punched in 666. God answered immediately.
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Me again.
gd: (silence)
me: Today is Earth Day.
gd: Earth?
me: We are beginning to realize our responsibilities in regards to our home planet.
gd: Standby... I'm looking you up... be a minute or two...
me: NGC number is zero, if that helps.
gd: Earth! Of course!
me: Right next door.
gd: Well, not exactly.
me: By the way, Jesus' signal was below the static level last time I checked. Are You having the same problem?
gd: Yes. I think it's temporary.
me: Made any progress, hadronwise?
gd: Get off this subject or I will terminate this call.
me: Forgive me, but I am really in the mood for some esoteric information.
gd: You're drunk.
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