Friday, March 28, 2008
Hmmm...
(3)
Which brings us to the subject for tonight. As you know, Jesus is still on His way to Proxima Centuari at the speed of light and is due to arrive in about three and a half years. So far so good, but there are complications in the form of The LHC. Alarmists think that when the LHC begins operation the Earth will be in danger of being destroyed. So far so good, but apparently Heaven is not quite ready for such an event because Jesus is still en route. Here is the problem: the LHC will be fully operational before Jesus arrives at Proxima Centauri. Therefore, there is a strong possibility that the world will end while Jesus is still en route. Is that a real problem? I decided to investigate. I picked up the brown telephone and dialed 666. The Jewish god WHTZSNM answered immediately.
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gd: Hello?
me: Been a while...
gd: Not long enough...
me: I have news from The Earth.
gd: The Earth?
me: Earth's scientists have developed a powerful machine capable of revealing the fundamental secrets of The Universe.
gd: So?
me: The problem is that Earth might be devoured by a black Hole created by that very same machine.
gd: You're boring me. Earth has always been toast.
me: But here is the problem: Earth might end before Jesus arrives at Proxima Centauri. And since Jesus is supposed to rearrive on Earth in the nick of The End Times, He might be late, with the result that billions of Earthlings will poof out of existence before Jesus can rescue them ala Revelations.
gd: Hmmm...
----------
Which brings us to the subject for tonight. As you know, Jesus is still on His way to Proxima Centuari at the speed of light and is due to arrive in about three and a half years. So far so good, but there are complications in the form of The LHC. Alarmists think that when the LHC begins operation the Earth will be in danger of being destroyed. So far so good, but apparently Heaven is not quite ready for such an event because Jesus is still en route. Here is the problem: the LHC will be fully operational before Jesus arrives at Proxima Centauri. Therefore, there is a strong possibility that the world will end while Jesus is still en route. Is that a real problem? I decided to investigate. I picked up the brown telephone and dialed 666. The Jewish god WHTZSNM answered immediately.
----------
gd: Hello?
me: Been a while...
gd: Not long enough...
me: I have news from The Earth.
gd: The Earth?
me: Earth's scientists have developed a powerful machine capable of revealing the fundamental secrets of The Universe.
gd: So?
me: The problem is that Earth might be devoured by a black Hole created by that very same machine.
gd: You're boring me. Earth has always been toast.
me: But here is the problem: Earth might end before Jesus arrives at Proxima Centauri. And since Jesus is supposed to rearrive on Earth in the nick of The End Times, He might be late, with the result that billions of Earthlings will poof out of existence before Jesus can rescue them ala Revelations.
gd: Hmmm...
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