Friday, February 22, 2008
A Fucking Genius
(3)
Today's log reads:
2-22-8
up at 0845
Nothing else. I like that!
But I should point out that I am not at all like the schizo in 'A Beautiful Mind.' True, I have 'a wonderful mind' (Indeed, a nun once told me that when I was in high school. It was a rare compliment). But I am not mentally ill in any classical sense, and furthermore we all have 'wonderful minds.' Mind is wonderful.
And yet I am obviously impaired, as I am sure you can see from reading my blog: I am paranoid. My paranoia decreases in direct proportion to booze intake, which is why I love boozing it up every friday night. But sober I am paranoid. I claim that this is a normal reaction to being bullied. The study cites 'depression' and 'conduct disorder' as the natural result of being bullied. I agree, because I suffer from both. Indeed, my particular form of 'conduct disorder' takes the form of writing a blog while drunk on friday nights. Depression is a much more serious problem, of course, but I have learned how to combat that particular aspect of my situation too. (I am, after all, a fucking genius.)
(later: I just remembered that my high school yearbook (BEHS 1954) described me as, 'The boy who has the mastermind whenever he can find the time.' I never discovered the source of that compliment.)
Today's log reads:
2-22-8
up at 0845
Nothing else. I like that!
But I should point out that I am not at all like the schizo in 'A Beautiful Mind.' True, I have 'a wonderful mind' (Indeed, a nun once told me that when I was in high school. It was a rare compliment). But I am not mentally ill in any classical sense, and furthermore we all have 'wonderful minds.' Mind is wonderful.
And yet I am obviously impaired, as I am sure you can see from reading my blog: I am paranoid. My paranoia decreases in direct proportion to booze intake, which is why I love boozing it up every friday night. But sober I am paranoid. I claim that this is a normal reaction to being bullied. The study cites 'depression' and 'conduct disorder' as the natural result of being bullied. I agree, because I suffer from both. Indeed, my particular form of 'conduct disorder' takes the form of writing a blog while drunk on friday nights. Depression is a much more serious problem, of course, but I have learned how to combat that particular aspect of my situation too. (I am, after all, a fucking genius.)
(later: I just remembered that my high school yearbook (BEHS 1954) described me as, 'The boy who has the mastermind whenever he can find the time.' I never discovered the source of that compliment.)
