Friday, September 21, 2007
Curiosity Kills Gynecology Student
(3)
Which brings us to a most amazing photograph. (Be advised that this photograph is NSFW unless your boss has an especially demented sense of humor.) The photograph is gross. But it seemed to me that there was humor there (tap), a redeeming social value which made this particular blogpost worthwhile. I have therefore undertaken to annotate this photograph. The annotation follows. Be advised before(boom)hand that what follows is abject conjecture, not fact. It is my interpretation of a most amazing photograph, in somewhat 'Onionesque terms.' Whether or not the photograph is 'doctored' is immaterial: my annotation applies only to the object we see before our very eyes, whatever it is. I herewith create the following (tap) 'history:'
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CARLSBAD, NEW MEXICO, 2007 - A Carlsbad man was killed yesterday while investigating a woman's vagina. "Abraham Fishel, 34, a gynecology student at New Mexico State University, suffocated during a gynecology exam and was pronounced dead at the scene," police said. Fishel apparently began his investigation during the absense of his instructor, Devorah Hyman, who had recently left the room for an emergency potty visit. When the instructor returned she found Fishel hanging from the woman's vagina, apparently dead. Hyman would have begun CPR but for the unfortunate position of the victim in this case. Instead Hyman immediately called 911, then began trying to pull the victim out, to no avail. The victim "appeared to be stuck," Hyman said. Police and Emergency Services arrived too late to save the man, who hung there for at least another 30 minutes while rescuers tried unsuccessfully to free him.
It was later determined that Fishel, an amateur 'spelunker', had donned a miner's helmet and activated the light inside. Fishel had also connected the helmet's chin strap before entering the vagina. "That was his fatal mistake," fellow spelunkers said: "If he had left that strap unconnected he would still be alive today."
The light was still bright when the helmet was removed from the woman's vagina, indicating that "Fishel was cognizant of the need for visual assistance during deep investigations," police said.
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Which brings us to a most amazing photograph. (Be advised that this photograph is NSFW unless your boss has an especially demented sense of humor.) The photograph is gross. But it seemed to me that there was humor there (tap), a redeeming social value which made this particular blogpost worthwhile. I have therefore undertaken to annotate this photograph. The annotation follows. Be advised before(boom)hand that what follows is abject conjecture, not fact. It is my interpretation of a most amazing photograph, in somewhat 'Onionesque terms.' Whether or not the photograph is 'doctored' is immaterial: my annotation applies only to the object we see before our very eyes, whatever it is. I herewith create the following (tap) 'history:'
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CARLSBAD, NEW MEXICO, 2007 - A Carlsbad man was killed yesterday while investigating a woman's vagina. "Abraham Fishel, 34, a gynecology student at New Mexico State University, suffocated during a gynecology exam and was pronounced dead at the scene," police said. Fishel apparently began his investigation during the absense of his instructor, Devorah Hyman, who had recently left the room for an emergency potty visit. When the instructor returned she found Fishel hanging from the woman's vagina, apparently dead. Hyman would have begun CPR but for the unfortunate position of the victim in this case. Instead Hyman immediately called 911, then began trying to pull the victim out, to no avail. The victim "appeared to be stuck," Hyman said. Police and Emergency Services arrived too late to save the man, who hung there for at least another 30 minutes while rescuers tried unsuccessfully to free him.
It was later determined that Fishel, an amateur 'spelunker', had donned a miner's helmet and activated the light inside. Fishel had also connected the helmet's chin strap before entering the vagina. "That was his fatal mistake," fellow spelunkers said: "If he had left that strap unconnected he would still be alive today."
The light was still bright when the helmet was removed from the woman's vagina, indicating that "Fishel was cognizant of the need for visual assistance during deep investigations," police said.
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