Friday, August 17, 2007
Meeting Kelso
(3)
Kelso arrives at the appointed time. His demeanor reeks of contempt. He wears a Taser on his left hip, and his left hand hangs near it, twitching almost uncontrollably.
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me: Somebody climbed up on my patio and cut my screen door.
ke: Show me.
me: There.
ke: That's all?
me: Yes.
ke: You got me out here to report a 1.5 inch gash in your screen door?
me: Exactly.
ke: Do you realize how much County Money you have just wasted?
me: Huh?
ke: Firstly, there is my pay. Nextly, there is my automobile expenses. I would say that - at minimum - you have just now wasted over a hundred dollars of County money, and all for a 1.5 inch cut in your stupid screen door. You could have replaced the door for that.
me: Well, maybe.
ke: Anything else before I leave?
me: I guess not. Can I talk to a detective? (tap)
ke: I can schedule one for you next Thursday at 5:30 PM.
me: Please do.
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I should mention here that I used Thursday in the above fantasy because an ACSD yum-yum once told me some time ago that the ACSD was least busy on Thursdays, and that that day would be my best bet on getting some sort of police interest in my stalking situation. That was near the day of my most recent call to the ACSD, when the idiot Kelso showed up. (And at this point I should mention that just before writing this segment I called the ACSD at the number mentioned above. After 4 rings a woman answered and said the words above. I pretended to have dialed (tap) the wrong number. It was one of my rare lies.
Kelso arrives at the appointed time. His demeanor reeks of contempt. He wears a Taser on his left hip, and his left hand hangs near it, twitching almost uncontrollably.
----------
me: Somebody climbed up on my patio and cut my screen door.
ke: Show me.
me: There.
ke: That's all?
me: Yes.
ke: You got me out here to report a 1.5 inch gash in your screen door?
me: Exactly.
ke: Do you realize how much County Money you have just wasted?
me: Huh?
ke: Firstly, there is my pay. Nextly, there is my automobile expenses. I would say that - at minimum - you have just now wasted over a hundred dollars of County money, and all for a 1.5 inch cut in your stupid screen door. You could have replaced the door for that.
me: Well, maybe.
ke: Anything else before I leave?
me: I guess not. Can I talk to a detective? (tap)
ke: I can schedule one for you next Thursday at 5:30 PM.
me: Please do.
----------
I should mention here that I used Thursday in the above fantasy because an ACSD yum-yum once told me some time ago that the ACSD was least busy on Thursdays, and that that day would be my best bet on getting some sort of police interest in my stalking situation. That was near the day of my most recent call to the ACSD, when the idiot Kelso showed up. (And at this point I should mention that just before writing this segment I called the ACSD at the number mentioned above. After 4 rings a woman answered and said the words above. I pretended to have dialed (tap) the wrong number. It was one of my rare lies.
