Friday, April 06, 2007
Happy Easter!
(2)
This is Holy Week, a very juicy week for me. Approximately two thousand and forty years ago Jesus has arrived in Jerusalem on a donkey and disrupted business at the temple there, drawing the attention of the authorities. Bad idea. Jesus enjoyed one last supper with his (male?) disciples thursday evening (yesterday). He was crucified by The Romans (today), about noon. Jesus began the decomposition process immediately after death (thump). His body will rot all night tonight and all day tomorrow. Meanwhile Jesus' soul will visit the folks in Hell for some reason. Decomposition will halt precisely at sunrise on Easter Sunday morning and He will rise from death and exit the tomb, smelling like a rose. Some days later, after conversing briefly with His disciples, He will return to the heaven from whence He came. Wow.
But Jesus' death was much more than just a simple celestial stunt. Jesus was in fact a 'scapegoat' who was 'sacrificed' in order to appease his Angry Father (the Jewish god WHTZSNM) who had grown waaay toooo used to goat offerings over many hundreds of years, by His sinful people. He had grown fat and ugly on all that goat over the years and He needed to go on a diet. He had, in fact, begun to grow horns. Furthermore He needed something to assuage His infinite anger. Jesus was the ultimate 'dose increase' and Jesus was also gastronomically taboo: the logical choice.
We all hope the maneuver worked. We are not quite sure...
This is Holy Week, a very juicy week for me. Approximately two thousand and forty years ago Jesus has arrived in Jerusalem on a donkey and disrupted business at the temple there, drawing the attention of the authorities. Bad idea. Jesus enjoyed one last supper with his (male?) disciples thursday evening (yesterday). He was crucified by The Romans (today), about noon. Jesus began the decomposition process immediately after death (thump). His body will rot all night tonight and all day tomorrow. Meanwhile Jesus' soul will visit the folks in Hell for some reason. Decomposition will halt precisely at sunrise on Easter Sunday morning and He will rise from death and exit the tomb, smelling like a rose. Some days later, after conversing briefly with His disciples, He will return to the heaven from whence He came. Wow.
But Jesus' death was much more than just a simple celestial stunt. Jesus was in fact a 'scapegoat' who was 'sacrificed' in order to appease his Angry Father (the Jewish god WHTZSNM) who had grown waaay toooo used to goat offerings over many hundreds of years, by His sinful people. He had grown fat and ugly on all that goat over the years and He needed to go on a diet. He had, in fact, begun to grow horns. Furthermore He needed something to assuage His infinite anger. Jesus was the ultimate 'dose increase' and Jesus was also gastronomically taboo: the logical choice.
We all hope the maneuver worked. We are not quite sure...
