Friday, January 19, 2007
A Solicitation to Murder
(4)
Needless to say I was somewhat taken aback (tap) by these revelations. It dawned on me immediately that God had much less power in human affairs than previously thought. Jesus was a chimp and God needed him back immediately?! And couldn't bring Him back Himself?! Very strange. With a renewed confidence I decided to press The Almighty on the matter:
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me: That chimp is Jesus?
gd: Unfortunately. We want Him back.
me: You can't just zap Him back?
gd: Doesn't work that way. The chimp has to die first, then We get Jesus back.
me: Why the concern? Why not just let the Chimp Jesus live out His natural life? When He dies You'll have Him back.
gd: There are several issues in that regard. Take My Word: We want Him back. Now.
me: Be clear: You want me to kill the chimp?
gd: Exactly.
me: You want me to kill Jesus?
gd: Somebody has to do it. You are elected.
----------
Needless to say I was somewhat taken aback (tap) by these revelations. It dawned on me immediately that God had much less power in human affairs than previously thought. Jesus was a chimp and God needed him back immediately?! And couldn't bring Him back Himself?! Very strange. With a renewed confidence I decided to press The Almighty on the matter:
----------
me: That chimp is Jesus?
gd: Unfortunately. We want Him back.
me: You can't just zap Him back?
gd: Doesn't work that way. The chimp has to die first, then We get Jesus back.
me: Why the concern? Why not just let the Chimp Jesus live out His natural life? When He dies You'll have Him back.
gd: There are several issues in that regard. Take My Word: We want Him back. Now.
me: Be clear: You want me to kill the chimp?
gd: Exactly.
me: You want me to kill Jesus?
gd: Somebody has to do it. You are elected.
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