Friday, January 12, 2007
My Plan for Iraq
(3)
As I thought about the most recent Bush idea concerning Vietnam... er Iraq, I wondered whether we might just leave the country and reinstall Saddam. That might solve the problem. Iraq, under Sunni domination, would act as a counterbalance to Iran. Unfortunately, however, Saddam was hung and is now presumably dead.
But what if we could resurrect him!
Consider the case of Jeremey Bentham, English philosopher. He died but was resurrected. (His body was preserved (more or less) and kept in a wooden cabinet.) Legend has it that he subsequently presided over the meetings of regents of The University College London where he was listed as, 'present but not voting.' Could we do the same with Saddam? I think so. Here's how:
We should dig up Saddam. We should then apply our most modern technology to restoring him to his previous state, making modifications as necessary. We should then sit him in his usual chair and photograph him holding a recent Iraqi newspaper. We should declare him alive. We should then declare that since Saddam appears to be divine and invincible (thump), we are leaving Iraq. Then we should leave Iraq.
We should then rule Iraq through our puppet, Saddam (Screw 'democracy,' it doesn't seem to work in the Middle East).
I propose this plan only because it seems to me that the Bush plan (to tempt Jesus to return) just might work. Jesus might return prematurely. Who knows what chaos that might cause. Remember The Creation?
As I thought about the most recent Bush idea concerning Vietnam... er Iraq, I wondered whether we might just leave the country and reinstall Saddam. That might solve the problem. Iraq, under Sunni domination, would act as a counterbalance to Iran. Unfortunately, however, Saddam was hung and is now presumably dead.
But what if we could resurrect him!
Consider the case of Jeremey Bentham, English philosopher. He died but was resurrected. (His body was preserved (more or less) and kept in a wooden cabinet.) Legend has it that he subsequently presided over the meetings of regents of The University College London where he was listed as, 'present but not voting.' Could we do the same with Saddam? I think so. Here's how:
We should dig up Saddam. We should then apply our most modern technology to restoring him to his previous state, making modifications as necessary. We should then sit him in his usual chair and photograph him holding a recent Iraqi newspaper. We should declare him alive. We should then declare that since Saddam appears to be divine and invincible (thump), we are leaving Iraq. Then we should leave Iraq.
We should then rule Iraq through our puppet, Saddam (Screw 'democracy,' it doesn't seem to work in the Middle East).
I propose this plan only because it seems to me that the Bush plan (to tempt Jesus to return) just might work. Jesus might return prematurely. Who knows what chaos that might cause. Remember The Creation?
