daily scratchpad

(5)

I was shocked of course, shocked by God's blatant threat. It seemed to me that God was threatening me unnecessarily. It seemed to me that God had a hidden agenda regarding the death of Jesus. I determined to expose it for what it was if I could.
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me: I need a sufficient reason.
gd: We need Jesus available at a moment's notice given the current international situation.
me: Which is?
gd: Bush has gone berserk.
me: Granted but how can Jesus help?
gd: Jesus must be available. As matters now stand Jesus is a chimp. Unavailable.
me: Please elucidate.
gd: Bush might attack Iran. Israel might attack Iran. Pakistan might attack India. India might attack Pakistan. Russia might attack U.S. U.S might attack Russia. And I could go on and on.
me: And?
gd: And chimps live waay too long.
me: I am not impressed, and I think You know what I mean.
gd: Ok, ok. Here is the real reason: We do not want Jesus to go through puberty as a chimp. You are in a position to prevent that catastrophe.
me: And You want me to kill Jesus?
gd: Exactly.
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